Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air
by McSteamyx3
Summary: In a world in which the Dark Lord won the war, Astoria loosed everything during a forced marriage with Draco Malfoy which seemed to be bright in the beginning but ends up being totally screwed up. Will she be able to regain her spirit? M 4 language & smut
1. Prologue: Set fire to the rain

**Chapter 1**

"Set fire to the rain"

_But there's a side to you that I never knew _

_all the things you'd say they were never true _

_and the games you play you would always win_

_always win..._

xxx

"Take a seat", said her father.

Astoria obeyed. She had just arrived from Hogwarts – it had been her last year and she had graduated the day before.

"So", began her father. "You're going to get married in one month. It's been planned since your birth and we expect you to act like a good, Pureblood girl."  
>"I – what? Are you freaking kidding me?", replied Astoria stunned.<p>

She didn't regret that she had said that, even when her father's hand hit her face hard. "Don't you dare speak to me like that", he hissed.

Astoria snorted in disapproval.

"Seems like you'll have to learn a lot until your wedding day."

She raised an eyebrow. "I'm sure my _husband_ is a rich Pureblood and you successfully sucked up to his family?"

Her father looked at her angrily. "The Dark Lord wants the Purebloods to marry each other. And _you_ are going to do everything I tell you, are we clear?"

"Certainly", replied Astoria. God, what had she done to deserve a father like that?

"Leave."

"Honey!", screamed her mother and hugged Astoria when she came out of her father's office. "I'm so glad to have you back!"  
>Astoria looked cool at her. "You can't be that glad since you're obviously planning to marry me to some jerk next month. Who are you kidding?"<p>

Her mother sighted. "You have to understand that the traditions are very important."

"How could you do this to me?", asked Astoria. Her walls were breaking down and she felt the upcoming tears burning in her eyes.

"It will work out, you'll see", smiled her mother. But Astoria knew that she was lying.

When Astoria turned around and headed to her room, her mother called after her. "Get yourself ready for eight o'clock. Clothes are lying on your bed."

Astoria turned around. "Why?"  
>"You're going to meet your fiancee tonight."<p>

"Screw this!", screamed Astoria when she saw the clothes lying on her bed and sank down onto the floor, first sobbing, then crying silently.

At seven o'clock she decided that she didn't have a choice. She made her way downstairs.

"What the hell are you doing?", yelled her father when he caught her smoking outside.

"At least I'm not doing it inside", she replied. He wouldn't have the power over her much longer anyway.  
>"Don't you dare speak to me like that", he hissed.<p>

Astoria knew that he wouldn't hit her again because he didn't want her fiancee and his family to see the bruises.

"You know, this line is getting old", she replied. Even though the upcoming evening already scared the hell out of her, she would'nt leave her parents without a fight.  
>"I'm sure your future husband is going to beat the crap out of you for your inappropriate behavior", her father hissed cool with a satisfied smirk.<p>

She sighted. Yeah, probably he would. She knew what it meant to be a woman in this fucking family hierachy and she knew exactly what was expected from her and how she had to behave. But anyway; she just couldn't do the crap they wanted her to do. She wanted to make her father proud, she did. But she felt like she was never good enough.

She knew that she shouldn't have said the things she said to him. But she was angry at him because he was going to marry her to some idiot…

"Get yourself ready", he hissed and pushed her back in.

xxx

"You're looking perfect", her mother smiled when Astoria came downstairs two minuted before eight.

She absolutely did. The black dress her parents had picked for her fit perfectly and her long, light-brown hair fell lightly curly down her shoulders nearly up to her belly. She faked a smile.

"You know", whispered her mother, "the first time is always...hard. But it's going to get better, I promise."  
>Astoria looked at her. Stunned. <em>If you had any idea<em>, she thought, _how many times I've been fucked..._

"Come on", said her mother. „You're supposed to wait in the dining room."

Astoria did as she was told. Her heart was racing while she was standing there.

She hadn't considered the fact yet that her fiancee probably expected her to be a virgin. Crap.

When the doors opened, her jaw dropped; her fiancee was Draco Malfoy.

He grinned as he walked towards her. Astoria shivered when she felt his familiar hands on her hips, looked into the familiar eyes although they seemed even colder than the last time she had seen them.

"Surprise", he whispered into her ear which sent a shiver through her body before he walked away.

"Pleasure to see you", said Lucius Malfoy cool and so did his wife, Narcissa.

Astoria couldn't believe what was happening. Her freaking fiancee was Draco Malfoy. Back at Hogwarts, they had been too proud or too screwed up to actually be together but they had always ended up together even if it was just for one night. Her friends had told her that he wasn't good for her and that she shouldn't have fallen for him over and over again, but he had had this effect on her...he had just needed to smirk and she would've dropped her panties instantly. Now, she had neither seen him nor heard something from him in one year and she had painfully accepted the fact that he was done with her, that he had found another girl he could screw on a regular basis...and now, he wanted to marry her?

Astoria drank a lot of champagne to process the news which caused her mother to give her angry looks but she didn't care – she had just been told that she'd live at the Malfoy Manor from now on.

When they reached Draco Malfoy's room a few hours later, a big room which was bigger than other people's whole houses, Astoria saw her things standing in an edge.

She was the first one of them who spoke. "Seriously?"

He turned around to face her. She felt like she was getting smaller and smaller when he came towards her, his cold gray eyes piercing her. "Haven't your parents taught you to respect your future husband?"

Astoria laughed. "Certainly. But I really didn't expect _you_ to be my freaking husband."

He slammed her against the wall and she felt his hot breath against her neck as he spoke into her ear. "If you don't, I'm gonna teach you. But not now. Tonight I'm gonna fuck the shit out of you. You won't be able to walk around straight for a week after I'm done with you."

And there it was again. The freaking effect he had on her. Her body was aching for his touch, she was turned on like hell...

When their lips finally met, he kissed her so hard that her knees went weak. While he grabbed her and made her wrap her legs around his hips, pressing her up against the wall with his body, his tongue explored her mouth.

She screamed out quietly when he ripped her panties away and touched her cunt.

"Naughty girl", he murmured when he felt her wetness. "Tell me what you want."

"You", she breathed. It was almost funny how fast Draco could get a very tough girl like her easily into submission.

He stopped touching her. "Go on."

„Fuck me", she whispered and looked straight into his eyes.

He grinned and slid two fingers inside her tight entry, causing her to moan out loud.

After he'd added a third finger, he finger-fucked her so hard she thought she would break. "Yeah...come for me...", he hissed. "Scream for me."

And she did. When he let her down, she trembled and nearly fell onto the floor.

xxx

The next day, she was woken up by a house elf who told her (from the Malfoys) to take a shower, dress herself and come downstairs within an hour.

When she entered Draco's bathroom, she looked at herself in the mirror and nearly screamed out.

Her body was covered with bruises and marks. Specially on her hips where he had held her while he had pulled in and out without respect; she also had a bruise on her neck and some on her wrists which he had held down above her head. Although she was in pain, she couldn't help it – she grinned when she thought about his actions from last night. The marriage didn't seem to be that bad after all because she'd at least have amazing sex to look forward to.

When she entered the dining room, there was just Lucius Malfoy – nobody else.

"Astoria." She trembled a little bit when she heard him saying her name. This man scared the crap out of her. He always had.

"Good morning, Mr Malfoy", she greeted him nervously.

His cold eyes were checking her out from the other side of the table.

His cold eyes met hers. "The Dark Lord wants to see you next week."

She swallowed hard and forced herself to nod.


	2. Hurricanes and Lighters

**Chapter 2**

"Hurricane and Lighters"

_No matter how many times that you told me you wanted to leave_

_No matter how many breaths that you took but still couldn't breathe_

_No matter how many nights that you'd lie wide awake to the sound of the poison rain_

"Astoria."  
>His voice sent a shiver through her body. When she looked at him, it shocked her like every time she saw him; she had never seen something as cold and scary as the Dark Lord.<p>

She felt all eyes on her when she got up, slowly, and walked through the room.

_Breathe. Don't trip and fall. Breathe. Just a few more steps...breathe..._

"Yes, my lord?", Astoria asked when she stood in front of him. She didn't look at him.

"Give me your arm", he said in his usual cold voice; though, she could her satisfaction in his tone.

_Tell me would u kill to save a life_

_Tell me would u kill to prove you're right_

_Crash crash burn...let it all burn_

Astoria looked at him. Although she didn't believe in everything probably everyone in this room believed in, she hadn't got a choice; the Dark Lord wanted her and so he got her. She wasn't even sure wether all those Death Eaters followed his orders because they trusted in his actions...no, she was pretty sure that most of them were just like her: scared like hell.

She stretched out her arm. Him catching her wrist with his left hand sent another shiver through her body; stronger this time. Astoria noticed that his skin wasn't warm; he wasn't human, actually. _Damn it, control your mind, _she said to herself. _He's able to freaking read it._

The Dark Lord raised his wand.

_This hurricane's chasing us all underground_

_No matter how many deaths I die, I'll never forget_

_No matter how many lies that I live, I will never regret_

_There is a fire inside of this heart and a riot about to explode in flames_

Astoria had to use every bit of self-control she had got over her body when the spell hit her arm and burnt the Dark Mark into it; slowly and beyond painful. She wanted to scream out loud in pain, to pull her arm down, to run away...but she couldn't. She had no choice; he would kill her if she made any movement.

_Do you really want me dead or alive_

_To torture for my sins? _

_Do you really want me dead or alive_

_To live a lie?_

When he was done, he gave her one last cold and insane look; then he disappeared.

As soon as he was gone, her body wasn't that tensed anymore and she fell down on the floor, not able to stand there any longer.

When she sat on the floor holding her arm instively although she knew that it wouldn't reduce the pain, her back met the cold wall and she tried not to cry.

After a few moments, when she felt like she could walk again, she got up and left the room without a word. Nobody said anything. She pushed the front-doors open and ran outside.

xxx

She couldn't sleep that night. When she lay in her bed and listened to the pourring rain, her bedroom door opened slowly; it was Draco.

He stood in the doorframe for a while. Intentiously, he had come here for sex; but when he saw her lying there with an empty look in her eyes, he remembered her falling down onto the floor earlier...and somehow, he felt something like compassion for her.

He lay down in the bed behind her. "Does it hurt?", he asked quietly.

"I'm alright", whispered Astoria.

"Where have you been?"  
>"Grounds. I needed..air."<p>

They remained silent for a while. Astoria winced when he put an arm around her waist.

_You & I know what it's like_

_to be kicked down, forced to fight,_

_but tonight we're alright_

_so hold up your lights, let it shine_

The following days Astoria thought a lot about the day she had recieved the Dark Mark. Fortunately, it didn't hurt that much anymore but what really bothered her was what Draco had done that night...she wouldn't have expected him to kinda _cuddle_ with her. She wouldn't even have expected him to feel that she had been in the need of someone who would hold her that night...but he had done exactly that. He had come in her bed and had held her all night long; thanks to him, she had been able to sleep at least a few hours.

She hadn't known that he could be nice. All she had ever experienced from him was violence and contempt...

xxx

Finally, it had come: their wedding day.

It had been arranged by Lucius & Narcissa Malfoy and Astoria's parents, Mr & Mrs Greengrass. _Surprise._

Astoria hadn't been asked anything; neither about the ceremony and the party nor about her own wedding dress. But actually, she hadn't expected to be asked. _Traditions._

Her wedding dress wasn't like she would've picked it, at all...but it was okay. It was white, of course; and nothing special. They had given her a white stole which she was supposed to wear during the ceremony; to cover the Dark Mark on her right arm. Astoria wondered why; there would only be Death Eaters at the ceremony, anyway. Maybe for the guy who was supposed to wed them?

She had heard about Muggles who had got so-called "tattoos". She couldn't imagine that someone tortured their body like that _by choice_...

xxx

When she came down the stairs of the Malfoy Manor, everyone was standing in the entrance hall and looked at her; the Malfoy's, the Greengrass', Bellatrix Lestrange, Professor Snape and all the other Death Eaters she didn't know yet.

"You look _beautiful_, honey!", said her mother and hugged her.

Astoria faked a smile for a moment which faded when her father came towards her.

"Show me", he hissed.

_Nice._ Astoria lifted her stole and showed him the Dark Mark.

Her father gave her a satisfied grin. "Now you've done at least _something_ right."

"Excuse me", said Astoria and joined the Malfoys. _Better them than my father,_ she thought.

When the doorbell rang, Astoria knew that the guy who would wed them had arrived.

She didn't listen to the guy, at all; she looked at Draco, instead. He would be her husband in a few minutes.

_Husband._

While she thought about it, she discovered that this wasn't as bad as she thought it was. In fact, it was the best thing that could've happened to her in this dark and twisted new world. Lord Voldemort ruled the world (at least the wizarding world; but also the Muggle world, in a way – although the Muggles didn't know).

As long as she was Draco Malfoy's wife and lived at the Malfoy Manor, she would be safe. Voldemort wouldn't kill her because the Malfoys were in his „inner circle" plus Astoria was a Pureblood which seemed to be damn important in this new world.

Also, living at the Malfoy Manor was better than living at home with her brutal father, her mother who wouldn't ever protect her (she never had) and her bitchy sister Daphne who was fucking jealous (she wanted to marry Draco). It was better to live here.

And Draco...he wasn't that bad either. Yeah, he was kind of an asshole and so was his father. But he could be nice whenever he wanted to; plus he was awesome in bed. Astoria smiled.

_This one's for you & me_

_living out our dreams_

_we're all right where we should be_

_lift my arms out wide, I open my eyes_

_and now all I wanna see.._

_..is a sky full of lighters. _


	3. Fuckin Perfect

**Chapter 3**

"Fuckin' Perfect"

_Made a wrong turn once or twice_

_dug my way out, blood & fire_

_bad decisions, that's alright_

_welcome to my silly life_

It was in the middle of the night. Astoria, who came out of the kitchen at the Malfoy Manor, stopped moving when she nearly bumped into her former potions teacher, Professor Snape.  
>"Eh – hello", she said stunned. What did that creep do at their house in the middle of the night?<p>

Snape made a short movement with his head which kinda looked like a nod.

Astoria looked at him, smiled confused and walked past him. _Scary._

After she had passed half of the stairs towards her room, she heard him calling her name.

She stopped. "Yeah?"

"We need to...talk."

_What the hell does he want from me?_ "Okay.."

Snape pushed her into the empty dining hall. "You need to control your mind", he said with his usual half-whispering, threatening voice.

"Excuse me?", replied Astoria stunned.

He made a few steps towards her. "You're a fool. You're walking around whith your mind open! I can read your thoughts at any second like right now. You've been taught occlumency, I guess. Use it!"

"Y-yeah. Some time ago my mother mentioned something like -"

"That's not enough", hissed Snape. "If the Dark Lord finds out about your thoughts, you will be dead the next second."

"W-why? I don't -"

"_Listen to me_. I can smell your fear, literally."

"My – I'm not scared! What are you talking about?" Astoria felt her heart racing. _Crap._

"Control your mind!" He nearly yelled at her. "Nobody cares about you, otherwise they would've told you to protect your thoughts. Obviously, they didn't even bother to read your mind; not even the Dark Lord did. But it won't last long until he does, so use your occlumency skills in case you don't plan on dying!"

"You're scaring me", said Astoria. She was just about to cry. "I – I don't _want_ to think those things, I'm trying to do what they expect from me, trying to be a good wife, trying to fulfill my duties!"

"That's not enough."

"I can't!" Now she was crying. "I can't breathe!"

"Pathetic", hissed Snape as tears were running down her cheeks.

"What can I do?", asked Astoria. "I - …won't he be able to read my thoughts, anyway? I mean, why the hell am I trying? This isn't worth living for, really. This whole thing, I mean..."

"Stop talking", said Snape. "It's disgusting and disloyal and I should tell them that you're not-"

"I'm not a Death Eater! This whole thing, my life since my marriage, that's not me! I've tried, but if that's not enough, I'd better be..."

"Dead?"

Astoria looked down onto the floor. "Yeah, maybe."

"Get yourself together and _control your mind_. It's your last chance", said Snape before he disappeared.

xxx

_mistreated, misplaced, misunderstood_

_miss "no way it's all good"_

_it didn't slow me down_

_mistaken, always second-guessing,_

_underestimated, look I'm still around_

Astoria couldn't sleep for the rest of the night, at all. She lay in her bed, cried most of the time and thought about what Snape had said earlier.

Well, he had got a point. But what was she supposed to do? Nobody had ever really taught her the freaking occlumency and she wouldn't be able to just learn it from a book.

By the way...why was he trying to help her? Sure, she had been in his house and now she was the wife of the former Slytherin Prince. But...she had never felt like Snape liked her. Did he? In her opinion he didn't like _any _student. Well, except Malfoy. But as much as she knew he hadn't taught him occlumency, either.

_Draco_. Should she ask him...? No. Hell, no. If he told his father about her thought, she would probably be dead before the Dark Lord could appear to the Manor.

The worst thing was that she couldn't talk to anyone. Draco was too busy dealing with stuff he didn't tell Astoria about, Lucius Malfoy was an arrogant ass and Narcissa Malfoy was too scared to do anything that could probably offend the Dark Lord. Astoria wasn't allowed to talk to her friends and her family sucked, anyway.

_Pathetic_. She heard the words Snape had said earlier again and again in her mind. _Disloya_l. Couldn't her mind shut up for a single minute?

_It's your last chance._

xxx

When Astoria got up in the morning, she felt like crap and decided to take a shower.

When she came out of the bathroom, dressed in her sleeping clothes again, Draco was sitting in her room.

He started talking about what he had done that night. Astoria didn't listen. She had come to a point where she didn't care anymore. And she was definitely not interested in Draco's stories about how good he carried out the Dark Lord's task...

"You look like crap", noticed Draco when he finally looked at Astoria after he had finished talking.

_you're so mean when you talk_

_about yourself, you are wrong_

_change the voices in your head,_

_make them like you instead_

"Look at yourself", groaned Astoria and went back to bed.

"What the hell is wrong with you?", hissed Draco annoyed.

"I...could you please tell your parents that I won't come downstairs for the meals today because I feel sick? I'd rather stay in bed."

"Hm-mh", made Draco and left the room.

_so complicated, look how big you'll make it _

_filled with so much hatred, such a tired game_

_it's enough, I've done all i can think of_

_chased down all my demons_

_see you do the same_

"Astoria won't join us for the meals today, she's sick", said Draco when he sat down at the big table in the dining hall with his parents.

Narcissa Malfoy looked up. "Sick? What's wrong with her?"

Draco shrugged which caused his parents to exchange looks.

xxx

Astoria had hoped that she wouldn't meet anyone when she went to the kitchen in the afternoon; she was freaking hungry. It had worked out until she reached her room again in which she found Narcissa Malfoy.

_Crap._ She couldn't hide the food. Now she was pretty sure that Mrs Malfoy thought that she wasn't sick but avoiding the meals with the family...

"How are you?"  
>"Umm, okay", answered Astoria quick. "I...wasn't feeling good earlier, I..."<br>"Yeah, Draco told me you were sick", said Narcissa and stared onto the food plate in Astoria's hand. "What was it, exactly?"

"I...haven't slept much last night. I don't know, it was just..."  
>"Do you suffer from morning nausea? Does your belly ache?"<p>

Astoria raised an eyebrow. "No...wait, I'm not pregnant!"

Narcissa seemed to be disappointed. "Okay, then. Get well soon."

_What the hell...?_, thought Astoria after her mother-in-law had left. She could certainly not be pregnant; she took the birth control potion every day and it was safe. Plus she didn't have any symptoms like the ones Narcissa – obviously – hoped she had.

She went back to bed. Although she didn't like thinking about birth control, she hadn't thought about Snape and his lecture from last night for a few moments. _Ehhw_.

She had to do something if she didn't want to die soon...

xxx

_The world stares while i swallow the fear  
>The only thing I should be drinking is an ice cold beer<br>So cool in lying and I tried tried tried  
>But we try too hard, it's a waste of my time <em>

After thinking about it over and over again, Astoria made a choice: she had to ask Draco for help. She didn't have anything to lose; either he would help her or she would die soon (which, like Snape said, would likely happen either way).

She knocked at his door. "Got a minute?"

Draco nodded and she came into his room, not without closing the door carefully.

Astoria cleared her throat. "You know...Professor Snape talked to me last night. He said I had to protect my mind or I would be killed soon. So I wondered if maybe you could...i don't know, help me?"

Draco tilted his head. "Why would anyone kill you?", he said with an arrogant grin. "Stop exaggerating things. Like this morning..."  
>"I don't...<em>exaggerate<em> things", replied Astoria surprised. "I wasn't kidding."

"Why would Snape say something like that to _you?"_

"I don't know, maybe because I'm pathetic, disoyal and not meant to be a Death Eater."

_Done looking for the critics, cuz they're everywhere  
>They don't like my genes, they don't get my hair<br>Stringe ourselves and we do it all the time  
>Why do we do that?<br>Why do I do that? _

Draco's arrogant grin faded. "What the hell are you talking about?"  
>Astoria sighted. "This...thing..." She looked at her left arm. "This whole...marriage and becoming a Death Eater thing...that's not me. I think a little bit...<em>different<em>. And I guess that Snape is right, he said that if the Dark Lordfinds out that I'm not convinced of his ideas, he is going to kill me. So I need to protect my mind."

"Occlumency." It seemed like Draco started to understand how serious this was.  
>"Yeah. You know how...how it works, don't you?", asked Astoria.<p>

_pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel_

_like u're less than fuckin' perfect_

_pretty pretty please if you ever ever feel _

_like you're nothing_

_you're fuckin' perfect to me_

Draco pierced her with his grey eyes. "Yes."

xxx

Astoria didn't know how they ended up in bed together: not having sex but laughing and talking. It felt so good to laugh again; and Draco...well, she hadn't known that he could be funny.

Of course, he had taught her a bit occlumency earlier. He said that in his sixth year, when he had the cruel task to kill Albus Dumbledore, his aunt Bellatrix had taught him how to use it to protect his mind from Snape and from Dumbledore himself.

He wasn't good at explaining things like that, but Astoria understood the most important aspects of occlumency and how to use it. Draco also told her to practice it everyday; it had worked out when he needed it.

They talked about their time at Hogwarts: gossip, other students, experieces...because they hadn't been in the same year (Astoria was two years younger which means he had been two years above her at school), they had lots to talk about.

Astoria felt like finally something inside of her husband had broken down and he accepted her the way she was. Well, not just _accepted_ her...actually _liked _her.


	4. Back at Hogwarts

**Chapter 4**

"Back at Hogwarts"

_You got inside my head_

_I tried my best to be guarded but i'm an open book instead_

_and I still see ur reflection inside my eyes_

_they're looking for purpose, they're still lookin' for life_

Draco had been allowed to resit his 7th year at Hogwarts after the Second War. Snape was the headmaster now and he had always liked Malfoy...so, this was no surprise.

After his graduation was the traditional prom.

**One week before the prom**

Astoria had just finished her 6th year at Hogwarts; finally, she had just one year left. She walked around at school and searched for her best friend Amelia when a guy stepped into her way.

Astoria raised an eyebrow. "What?" She didn't know the guy.

"I – I'm Ricky", said the guy. Astoria stared onto his Ravenclaw school uniform. "Do you want to go to the prom with me?"

Before Astoria was able to put him down, she felt someone behind her placing his hand on her hip and she heard a familiar voice saying: "She already has a prom date."

Astoria turned around and faced Draco Malfoy. "I do?"

She didn't even recognize that the Ravenclaw guy disappeared because Draco kissed her; forceful and passionate. "You do", he said then and left.

Astoria stood at the place where he had left her for a while. She would've never expected _Draco Malfoy _to be _her prom date_. Wow. The Slytherin Prince had just asked her out...

They had never been exclusive so she had already tried to accept that he would never ask her to go to the prom with him and that she'd be alone in her dorm room that night, wishing she were with him.

xxx

Draco walked back to the Slytherin common room. Asking Astoria out for the prom hadn't been a big deal for him because he and Pansy Parkinson had broken up two years ago and he needed someone to accompany him. He didn't like prom's, but it kinda was a duty to go there. And Astoria...she was really pretty and he knew that she would never resist him. Never.

xxx

"Amelia!", screamed Astoria when she found her best friend and ran towards her. "You won't believe what happened..."

"What?", asked her best friend who was sitting on the grounds.

"Draco freaking Malfoy just asked me out to the prom."  
>"No way?", screamed Amelia. "Seriously?"<p>

Astoria grinned. Proud. "Yeah!"

"Wow", laughed Amelia. "Congratulations!...cigarette?"

"Yeah." Astoria took it and lightened it. "What about you, any news?"

Amelia groaned. "No. Looks like I'll have to go with Blaise Zabini."

"He asked you weeks ago, didn't he?"  
>"Yeah..."<br>"What's wrong? He's hot!", grinned Astoria.

Amelia shrugged. "Yeah, he's okay."

They remained silent for a while and smoked their cigarettes.

"I...how many times did you sweat that you won't fall for Malfoy again?", asked Amelia then.

Astoria rolled her eyes. "I _know_. But I feel like this time, it's different. Or...you know what? I don't care! I don't care that he's cold and arrogant and...it's the freakin' prom! I'll go with him."

Amelia laughed. "Don't complain afterwards."  
>"I won't", smiled Astoria.<p>

"He broke your heart more than once. He just uses you! I don't want you to get hurt. _Again_."

"Come on", laughed Astoria. "He's _hot_!"

Now, Amelia rolled her eyes.

xxx

**Prom Night**

Draco couldn't help it – he smiled when Astoria came downstairs from the girl's dorm rooms to the Slytherin common room where he had been waiting.

She looked gorgeous. She was wearing a tight-fitting, black and green dress which went up to the middle of her thighs and fatal black high-heels. Obviously, she had straightened her normally curly hair, which looked very good. Furthermore, she was wearing silver jewelry.

"You look _fuckin' hot_", he whispered when she joined him. "Let's go."

All eyes were on them when Draco and Astoria entered the Great Hall; obviously, they were the most beautiful couple.

Astoria tried not to pay attention to the jealous girls who kept looking at her. She smiled because s_he_ was the one the Slytherin Prince had chosen - at least for tonight.

They had to join the first dance. _Duty_. Draco didn't like dancing, at all; so he used it to come closer to the pretty girl he had come with. Astoria blushed when he pulled her closer and whispered lots of dirty things and told her what he was going to do to her later...

After half an hour, they left the Great Hall. Draco pushed her into an empty class room and against the nearest table. Astoria enjoyed his hands all over her body, the desire in his eyes, his forceful actions and the passionate kisses...

xxx

When they entered the Great Hall again, Draco left to talk to Crabbe & Goyle and Astoria joined Amelia and Blaise.

After Amelia had given Blaise a meaningful look, he left to join Draco and his friends.

"Let's go outside", said Astoria. "I need one."

After they had escaped from the school building and had hidden in a corner to smoke, Amelia laughed. "You just had sex, didn't you?"

"How did you get that?"  
>Amelia tilted her head. "I can see it in your eyes, baby. And you've got sex hair."<p>

Astoria laughed. "Yeah, well."

"And?", asked her best friend. "How was it?"

"Mind-blowing", grinned Astoria.

Before she could say anything else, she heard a cold voice behind her. "Enjoying the cigarettes?"

They both turned around and faced Professor Snape.

"Err...yeah, actually...", stared Astoria.

Snape interrupted her. "Detention. The both of you. Tomorrow. Eight O'Clock. My Office."

Amelia rolled her eyes after he had left. "_Great_."  
>They started laughing. "Let's go back in", said Astoria then.<p>

When they came back into the Great Hall and joined the Slytherin boys, Draco didn't pay any attention to Astoria; he didn't even look at her.

_I'm falling apart_

_I'm barely breathing _

_with a broken heart_

_that's still beating_

"Let's go have a drink", said Amelia and pulled her best friend with her.

"I shouldn't have expected anything else", said Astoria with tears in her eyes and drank her firewhisky with one shot.

Amelia looked at her. "I don't wanna say I told you...but I did."

"That's not helping", snapped Astoria.

"Sorry." Amelia sighted. "So? What are you going to do?"

"I'm going to get drunk", said Astoria and grabbed another two firewhiskys. "What else shall I do."

After a while, Astoria said: "You don't need to sit here with me. I'm pathetic and I don't want to ruin your evening...you can go to Blaise, if you..."  
>"Are you kidding me?", said Amelia. "Yes, you're pathetic. But I'm gonna get drunk with you; so drunk that you'll forget the asshole. And you know that I've never been that interested in Blaise."<p>

Astoria smiled. "Okay, then. Do you think they would mind if we took the whole bottle?"

"Seriously?", laughed Amelia. "Yes. But who cares?"

Short-time later, they were sitting at the sea; with a bottle of Firewhisky, which wasn't that full anymore, and a package of cigarettes.

They had recognized that everything is way more fun when you're drunk; but this evening, it was extreme.

They were laughing about a bush when Draco Malfoy joined them.

"Here you are", he said and sat down next to Astoria. "I missed you", he whispered.

"Seriously?", screamed a very drunk Amelia. "Stop touching her, you're not good enough for her! I won't let you hurt her again!"

Astoria looked at her. _She's right_. But while she looked at her best friend, she felt Draco's breath against her neck before he left a hickie.

_in the pain is the healing_

_in your name I find meaning_

_so I'm holding on_

_I'm holding on_

_I'm barely holding on to you_

"It's okay", said Astoria to Amelia. "I'm okay."

"You can't be serious? Do...do you want him to hurt you again? Because he will!"

"Stop it", hissed Draco.

"I'm sorry", said Astoria. "Amelia, I..."

"I can't believe you're doing this. Again!", said Amelia, got up and headed towards the castle.

"What's wrong with her?", said Draco with an arrogant grin.

"She's right", hissed Astoria. "I shouldn't -"

"Shht", made Draco and kissed her.

Astoria hated herself for this but she couldn't resist him. She opened her mouth to let him slide his tongue around hers, didn't complain when he came on top of her..._enjoyed_ every single touch.

xxx

It was four in the morning when Astoria entered her dorm room. She felt freaking guilty when she looked at Amelia who was already asleep...she had just tried to protect her.

Astoria grabbed her sleeping clothes and went downstairs again to take a shower.

_I'm hanging on to another day_

_just to see what you'll throw my way.._

_and I'm hanging on to the words you say_

_you said that I will_

_I'll be okay_

When Astoria woke up the next morning (it was a Saturday), the dorm room was empty. _Crap_. She needed to talk to Amelia.

She went downstairs, still dressed in a hotpants and a tanktop, and found her best friend sitting in the common room.

"Hey", said Astoria and let herself fall onto the couch next to her.

"Hi", replied Amelia cool.

"Listen", started Astoria. "I don't want it to be awkward between us because I made some mistakes with a guy. I know that you just wanted to protect me, and I know that you're right! I should'nt have done this, but hell, I couldn't help it, I can't freakin' resist him! It's – it's like I'm addicted or something, you know, I don't know what this is."

"I can't believe you're doing this", said Amelia. "I mean, seriously!"

Astoria sighted. "I know."

"Dude, you're such a freak", laughed Amelia.

"Screw you", laughed Astoria. "You're not better than me, you _freak_."

"Wanna go downstairs and have breakfast?", asked Amelia, still smiling.

"Do you wanna kill me?", replied Astoria. "I'm fuckin' nauseous. But I've still got the firewhisky upstairs."

_Broken lights on the freeway_

_Left me here alone_

_I may have lost my way now_

_haven't forgotten my way home _

**xxx**

Astoria woke up from her dream. At first, she didn't realize where she was; certainly not at Hogwarts where she had been in her dream. She sighted. She hadn't thought about Draco's prom night for ages but in her dream, it had been so real...

She wanted to go back. She wanted her best friend back...

Then her left arm started burning like hell.

The Dark Mark.

xxx

**A/N: Did you like this chapter? Yes? Then check out my 2nd story, "Lonely", which is about Draco & Astoria at Hogwarts ;)**


	5. You Found Me

**Chapter 5**

"You Found Me"

Before Astoria could think of any possible consequences of the burning Dark Mark, her bedroomdoor flew open: it was Lucius Malfoy. His sudden appearance made Astoria sit up in her bed instantly.

"Get ready", said Mr Malfoy.

"What's going on?", replied Astoria.

He gave her an angry look. "We're going to leave in five minutes."

After he had left, Astoria stared at the door. She was scared and felt like she couldn't move...didn't _want _to move. But she forced herself to get up and get dressed before she went downstairs to meet the Malfoys in the entrance hall. None of them spoke. When Lucius Malfoy pointed his arm out, Narcissa and Draco grabbed it and so did Astoria because it seemed to be the right thing to do.

When they arrived, she had got no idea where they were - it was dark and cold and there seemed to be plenty other people. _Death Eaters._

She didn't feel comfortable, at all. Nobody talked and she had got no idea what she was supposed to do here until suddenly her Dark Mark started to hurt even more...and then she knew it. The Dark Lord was about to arrive.

He appeared right in front of a man. Astoria had seen him at the Malfoy Manor before and she knew that he was a Death Eater...like all the people around here.

"Show me", hissed the Dark Lord.

The man, whose name Astoria didn't remember, pulled a tiny person in front of the Dark Lord.

"Look who we have here", said the Dark Lord with an evil satisfaction in his voice.

Astoria shivered.

"I guess it's a proper task for the new Mrs Malfoy to..._treat_ you properly", said the Dark Lord. "Come here."

Astoria was totally confused. _Me?_ Before she could express her uncertainty, she felt someone pushing her roughly forward; it must've been Lucius Malfoy. _Damn._

While she walked towards the Dark Lord, her eyes met Severus Snape's. _Crap. _She needed to control her mind...

When she came closer, she recognized the person on the floor: it was Ginny Weasley. She knew that the Death Eaters had been searching her since the second war. Astoria had never been close to her and she didn't even remember that they had ever spoken to each other, but damn it...they had been schoolmates..._Fucking control your mind._

"Use the cruciatus curse", said the Dark Lord cool and looked at Astoria.

Astoria looked around, searched for help, and recognized that she was standing in the middle of a circle of Death Eaters with no possibility to escape...

Her eyes met Ginny's. They were filled with tears and fear.

"Now!", yelled the Dark Lord.

Astoria looked up to him. _I can't do this. I can't do this. I can't -_

She heard him yelling "Crucio!" before the pain hit her.

xxx

„Ouch", was the first thing Astoria said when she woke up. Every part of her body was hurting...

When she opened her eyes, she recognized that she was at the Malfoy Manor again.

When she entered the dining hall, she wasn't able to check out the people there because her father pulled her into the room next door with him.

He started to yell at her instantly. "How dare you embarass our whole family? I would've never thought you were _that_ useless!"

"What...what happened, actually?", asked Astoria. She was confused because she still felt weak and slightly dizzy.

"What happened?", yelled her father. "I can tell you what happened, you dirty little fool! You refused to carry out the Dark Lord's simple task to torture that little mudblood! You're nothing but a disappointment!"

Astoria rolled her eyes. That was not what she had been asking for.

Instantly, her father's hand hit her face hard and he continued to yell at her. "Don't you dare roll your eyes on me after you've screwed up in every possible way!"

"I just couldn't!", said Astoria desperately. "I -"

"Stop telling crap!" He slapped her again.

Astoria sighted; tears filled her eyes. She was too weak to fight or to stand her father's cruelty and violence right now. "I've never been good enough and I will never be, am I right?", she whispered and trembled back against the wall.

"Damn right", hissed her father and left the room to join the Malfoys again.

Astoria tried to catch her breathe and ignore the upcoming tears when the door flew open once more and Draco entered.

He looked at her. "You okay?"

Astoria took a deep breath. "Yeah. Would you excuse me? I...I need to...take a shower."

After he had nodded, she went upstairs again.

xxx

Astoria stood in front of the mirror in her bathroom with dripping wet hair and a towel wrapped around a body and stared with an empty look at herself when Draco entered.

He stepped behind her and looked at her, too. When their eyes met, Astoria looked down onto the floor.

Draco stepped beside her and lifted her chin with one hand to study her cheek. "Did your father do that to you?"

She continued to look down on the floor. "Who cares."

"I'm your husband", replied Draco. "I'm the only one who's allowed to do this to you."

Astoria looked at him with a terrified facial expression.

He smirked. "Just kidding. I would never hurt you."

"I need to get dressed", said Astoria and wanted to escape him but he grabbed her wrist and held her back.

"You okay?"

"Do I look like I'm okay?", snapped Astoria.

She tried to fight him when he hugged her...but after a few seconds, she stopped fighting and rested her head against his shoulder. He didn't hear her making any sound but he knew that she was crying.

xxx

"What...what are you doing here?", asked Astoria when she entered her bedroom in the middle of the night.

"What does it look like?", replied Draco who was lying in her bed.

Astoria sat down on the edge of her bed and put her socks off while she threw the letter, which she had had in her hand and hidden behind her back when she saw Draco, under her bed. Her heart was racing when she lay down beside him. She'd pretty sure be dead if he found the letter.

About ten minutes later, Draco touched her leg. "Don't pretend to be asleep, I know you're not."

"And?"

He sighted. "Do I need to read your mind or are you going to tell me what's wrong?"

"Seriously?", asked Astoria. "I almost got killed and then my father dumped me! You can't expect me to be just cool with that."

Draco groaned. "Alright."

xxx

The next night, Astoria waited nervously until she was pretty sure that the whole house was asleep. She really hoped that Draco wouldn't go to her room again and find out that she wasn't there...  
>She left the house and ran off the Malfoy grounds down to the streets where she was able to Disapperate.<p>

"There you are!", said her best friend Amelia and hugged her intensely.  
>Astoria smiled. "I'm so glad to see you! I miss you every second of everyday."<br>"Same here", whispered Amelia. "Wanna go in?"  
>Astoria nodded and they entered the Muggle bar. They searched for a corner as far away from the crowd as possible and sat down on a table.<p>

"So", began Astoria. "About your letter. You were kidding, right?"  
>"No, why?, asked Amelia serious. "I meant every line I wrote."<br>"You can't be serious!", said Astoria. "I mean, hello? That's just crazy!"

"You're my best friend!", replied Amelia. "You're all I've got. I won't just let you die in that fucking house! I'm going to get you out of there, even if it means that I'll have to get the Dark Mark. I don't care!"

Astoria sighted. "You're my family, Amelia. You're my..._everything_! I don't want you to get into any trouble!"  
>"Can't be more trouble than you already have." "Come on! If we would follow your plan, if you'd recieve the Dark Mark to get their trust &amp; we'd both disappear - <em>escape <em>- and hide somewhere..that won't work out! They'll find us! They always will."

"No they won't", replied Amelia. "I mean...maybe it'll work out without me recieving the Dark Mark. Like, you escape from the Manor, meet me and we'll disappear."

"You - you can't be serious! It isn't that easy!"

"Why not?"

"Look", said Astoria, "We grew up together. And I'd prefer to live with you than with the Malfoys, trust me. But...what about your family?"

"Oh, come on. You know exactly that they suck."

„Okay, then. But...what about my family?"

„This? Now?", asked Amelia angry. „Come on, you know that your family sucks, too! Your mother never protected your from your violent, crappy father."

„I _know_", said Astoria. „But...don't you understand? I always wanted to impress my father although he gave me every reason to hate him."

„You...you don't hate him? After all that he has done to you? Come on, don't pretend that this is a daddy issue. Because I know that it's not."

Astoria sighted. "But...what about Draco? He'd get into serious trouble if I disappeared! I don't want him to be tortured or killed for anything I did."

"Are you freaking kidding me?" Amelia was close to yelling. "You know exactly that he's an ass! An emotionless bastard who hurt you way more than once! Can't you see it? He's just using you for sex, like he always did! He never cared about you, so why the hell would you care about him?"

"That's not true! He has changed. Don't look at me like that! You don't know him anymore! I freaking know what he did to me in the past and I'm not saying that it was okay. But he has changed! He's not that emotionless moron anymore, he's not using me! He...he actually cares about me!"

Amelia rolled her eyes. "Astoria, please. Don't tell me you're still in love with him."

"I...err..honestly? I don't know."

"Are you that stupid? Don't you see what he's doing to you? A Malfoy never changes! Remember how he beat you once when you asked him wether you two were a couple? Or when he dumped you everytime after you guys had had sex? You can't just pretend that this crap doesn't count anymore!"

"I don't", said Astoria. "But I've been living with him since a while and he...he can be gentle. And nice. And...loving."

"Yeah, I'm sure he can be. Whenever he needs to fuck."

"No!", yelled Astoria. When she saw people looking at them, she lowered her voice. "No. That's not true. I - I may have made some stupid mistakes in tbe past but I can tell when somebody cares about me."

Amelia sighted. "So? What are you going to do now? Do you want to spend the rest of your pathetic and probably short life locked up in a dark house with Death Eaters, Voldemort and a husband who pretends to care but just likes to fuck?"

"Damnit!", whispered Astoria. "Come on!" She pulled her best friend up and they disappeared.

When they landed on the dirty ground of a forest, Amelia started to yell. "What the fuck do you think you're doing?"

"You said his fucking name!", yelled Astoria. "The Dark Lord's name! I saw the Death Eaters coming into that bar and pulled you away!"

"Oh", said Amelia. "Crap. I...I wasn't thinking anymore."

"Yeah, I recognized that", snapped Astoria.

Amelia rolled her eyes. "Oh come on. You know that I'm right. After what you told me in your letter, I'm pretty sure that your only option is escaping. For some reason the Dark Lord let you go this time; but hun, he'a going to kill you for the next little mistake you make."

"Yeah", said Astoria. "Probably."

"I don't want you to die!", said Amelia. "I wouldn't survive it! I barely survive not being able to see you more than once in a month, tops! I need you."

Astoria felt tears running down her cheeks. "I don't know what to do."

"Come with me!", pleaded Amelia. "It's your best option. Let's do it tonight."  
>„What?", asked Astoria confused. „No!"<p>

„Why not?", said Amelia. „What's holding you back?"

When Astoria didn't say a thing, Amelia rolled her eyes. „Seriously? Him?"

„I – I need _time_, okay? Time to think about your fucked up plan. We..._we_ need more time."

xxx

One week had passed since Astoria's meeting with Amelia during which they had nearly been discovered by the Death Eaters. But fortunately, they hadn't seen them and the Malfoys hadn't recognized that Astoria had been gone.

Though: Astoria couldn't sleep more than a few hours every night. She thought a lot about Amelia's so-called plan; it wasn't a "plan", was it? Just disappearing with no clue where to go or what to do?

On the one hand, she didn't want to lose Draco. She had always loved him and since their marriage she was sure that he wasn't like everyone thought he was. Astoria didn't regret defending him in front of her best friend – she'd do it again and again.

Plus she was addicted to him in a sexual way. When they had had sex after she had been with Amelia, Astoria had recognized that she wouldn't feel comfortable if she wasn't able to have sex with Draco. Because the way he made her feel, the way his hands touched her body, the way they moved perfect together...she didn't think that she would ever be able to feel this with any other man.

But on the other hand, she didn't want to lose Amelia.

_Losing her  
>The only one who's ever known<br>Who I am  
>Who I'm not, who I wanna be<br>No way to know  
>How long she will be next to me <em>

Astoria wasn't sure wether Amelia would still be her best friend if she didn't agree to disappear with her...

She had avoided the Malfoys as often as she was able to. She didn't want them (especially Lucius Malfoy) to recognize that she was thinking about disappearing; a thought for which she would most likely be tortured or killed if anyone found out about it.

What kind of fucked up crap was this, anyway?

Amelia was right, in a way. She didn't want to spend the rest of her life in the Malfoy Manor with those creepy people...

Astoria startled when somebody knocked at her door.

She cleared her throat. "Yeah?"

Draco entered. "What're you doing in here all day?"  
>Astoria shrugged. "Thinking."<p>

"What about?"  
>"Come on", she laughed. "Don't pretend to be interested."<p>

"I want to know what's going on with you! You've been absent since a while. And when I asked you a week ago you lied. I know you lied."  
>Astoria looked down on the floor. "You know,...I...'it's nothing' won't be enough at this point, am I right?" She tried to gain time.<p>

"No", said Draco serious and sat down next to her. "Tell me."

"But it is. It's nothing special. I'm just – a little bit confused, you know? The Dark Mark, the incident with Ginny, then my father...it's a lot to process."

Draco looked straight at her. "I don't believe you."

Astoria tilted her head. "You should, because it's the truth", she smiled and kissed him.

They looked into each other's eyes before he pinned her down on the bed. "At some point, you're going to tell me", he groaned before he kissed her again; rough, this time.

Astoria shivered under his touch. She closed her eyes and moaned when he started to move on top of her.

xxx

That night, Astoria met her best friend again.

"I can't!", she yelled. "I just can't do this, okay?"

Amelia looked disappointed at her. "I don't recognize you anymore", she said. "You have changed."

"I – yeah, maybe, I mean, we all do! But seriously, I - "

"Stop it", hissed Amelia. "I don't want to hear your crap about Malfoy being a good guy anymore. Who are you kidding?"

Astoria stood there, in an lonely alley under the pourring rain and stared at the point where her best friend had just disappeared.

She wasn't sure wether she was ever going to see her again.

xxx

About one month later, Astoria hadn't heard anything from her (former?) best friend. She had cried a lot and had had moments where she thought that she made the wrong choice...you don't choose a guy over your best friend, do you?

She was sitting in the Dining Hall with some Death Eaters. She knew that the Dark Lord was about to arrive but she didn't know why; and she didn't really care. Everything seemed far away from her since Amelia had left her in the alley...

Astoria didn't really look at the Dark Lord giving a person in dark clothes, who she couldn't identify, the Dark Mark. She didn't care what kind of idiot joined them.

After the Dark Lord was gone, Astoria wanted to wait until the Death Eaters had disappeared; she didn't feel like talking to anyone.

Suddenly she realized that there were only her and the person who had just received the Dark Mark left in the room.

Before Astoria could make any movement, the person fell down onto the floor.

"Hey!", screamed Astoria in panic, jumped up and ran towards the person.

When she came closer, she couldn't believe what she saw.

_Lying on the floor  
>Surrounded, surrounded<br>Why'd you have to wait?  
>Where were you? Where were you?<br>Just a little late  
>You found me, you found me <em>

"_Amelia?_", she screamed in disbelief. "Oh my god! Are – are you alright?"

"I guess", groaned Amelia. "It's just – I didn't expect it to hurt that much..."

"Why did you do this?", asked Astoria, helping her best friend to sit down.

Amelia shrugged. "It seemed to be the only way to come closer to you. You stubborn girl didn't want to disappear with me; so I had to get those people's trust to see you. Now we needn't hide anymore!"

"You're crazy!", laughed Astoria and hugged her. "You really shouldn't have done this for me."  
>"Shut up", grinned Amelia. "Sure I had to. I can't let you do any more mistakes."<p>

"Sounds like you want to save me."  
>"I do, kinda."<p>

Astoria smiled. "Wanna go outside and smoke a cigarette?"  
>"Yeah, I'd really like to", smiled Amelia.<p>

xxx

After Amelia had left to go home, Astoria returned back to her room where she found Draco.

"Hey", she smiled. "What's going on?"

"Is that why you've been absent?", asked her husband angry. "Because your stupid friend wanted to join us?"  
>"No", said Astoria confused. "No, I didn't know that she was going to do this!"<p>

"Don't lie to me!"  
>"Seriously!", yelled Astoria back. "I didn't even know who the person was who got the Dark Mark today!"<p>

Draco made a few steps towards her. "You can't do any more mistakes. One more and they're going to kill you."  
>"I <em>know<em>. But Amelia joining the Death Eaters isn't my fault!"

"Even if it's not – and I'm not saying that I believe you – who do you think she did this for? I don't want her here! She's a crazy bitch and she has got a bad influence on you!"

"What the hell are you talking about? You don't even know her!"  
>Draco rolled his eyes. "Unfortunately, I do. She has always been a freaky bitch and I don't want you to be with her."<br>"Stop it!", said Amelia angry. "She has been there for me everytime you dumped me. She was there when you weren't! She's my freaking family! She's the only person I really trust."

"She's a bitch and that won't ever change."

"What's wrong with you? At least I didn't disappear with her!"

"You _what_?"

"I – just saying, I wasn't serious."  
>"Oh, you so were! What the hell did you plan?"<p>

"Come on, I wasn't."

Draco made a few steps towards her. "Tell me the truth."  
>When Astoria looked up at him, he scared her in a way..."Okay, Amelia suggested that we could disappear together. But we didn't, okay? It was just...an idea."<p>

"You seriously thought about disappearing?", yelled Draco.

"Yes!", yelled Astoria back. "Yes, but I didn't do it! And I'm not going to go anywhere. I nearly lost my best friend because I chose you over her."

When he looked at her, she saw that her last statement confused him.

"Don't you dare do something like that again", he hissed then and left the room, slamming the door shut.

xxx

**Lyrics:**

**You Found Me – The Fray**

**Thanks to the lovely people who review my chapters, means a lot to me x33**


	6. Mirrors

**A/N: This chapter is freaking short :D it doesn't have a very important plot, either. But I hope that it's fun anyway and I need to make this one short because it's the start of...well, basically the entire following storyline :D**

**Chapter 6**

"Mirrors"

"You wanted to see me?", asked Astoria when she entered the room next to the Dining Hall at the Malfoy Manor.

"Yes", smiled Narcissa Malfoy. "Come here, darling. I've got something for you."

Astoria smiled and walked over to her mother-in-law, having no clue of what to expect.

"For – for me?", she asked stunned when Narcissa gave her a dress. "I – wow."

The dress was green (probably a reference to Slytherin) and tight-fitting. It was ruffled around the waist; one shoulder would be bare and the dress just went on from over the breasts up to the other shoulder. Under the ruffled waist were lots and lots of tiny green transparent pieces of fabric which, all together, created a non-transparent skirt which was a little bit transparent at the bottom. It would go up to the middle of her thighs.

"It's amazing", smiled Astoria happily.

"I knew that you'd like it", smiled Narcissa. "It's for your sisters engagement party tomorrow."

"Excuse me?", asked Astoria stunned. What the fuck was going on here?

"Didn't she tell you?", replied Narcissa, rather stunned herself.

"No – no she didn't. Whom?...I mean, -"

"Theodore Nott", answered Narcissa, knowing what Astoria was trying to express.

"Oh", said Astoria. "Well..."

"We'll leave at eight", said Narcissa. "You can take the dress upstairs with you now and see wether it fits; but it should fit."

"Yeah, Thank you so much, it's really beautiful!", replied Astoria who didn't really know what to say. Things were still a little bit awkward between Narcissa and her because Astoria was afraid to piss her mother in-law off because that would make her husband, who loved his mother dearly, angry – and her husband being angry was something the young wife certainly wanted to avoid.

Narcissa nodded. "And don't forget the shoes." She daughter in-law a pair of silver high-heels; at least 5 inches.

Astoria tilted her head and looked at the shoes. They were obviously beautiful and would fit to the dress (which would create more than just a referrence to Slytherin), but they were also slightly bitchy. She would've never chosen shoes like that for an official party but well, if Narcissa said so it'd be okay...

xxx

"I can't believe this is happening." Astoria rolled her eyes and drank another firewhisky. She was standing at her sister's engagement party in the house she had used to live at but which had never really been her home – the Greengrass Manor.

Amelia, who had come here with her family, nodded. "Have you talked to her yet?"

"No. I'm still mad", replied Astoria and drowned more alcohol.  
>"Because she didn't tell you?", asked Amelia back.<p>

"As well as the fact that I think that she wasn't forced into this."

"You don't?"

"No. You know, she has always been better than me. The fucking perfect daughter, and I was just...me. I've always been different. My father came over the fact that Daphne wasn't a boy – an _heir –_ but with me...I was neither an heir nor the perfect daughter they always expected me to be. I've nearly been sorted into Ravenclaw, I've never liked family traditions and they didn't ever let me forget that I was a disappointment...well, that I _am_ a _disappointment_." She spoke the last word with contempt but her best friend knew that she was just trying to hide that she was hurt.

"Want a cigarette, _disappointment_?", joked Amelia.

Astoria laughed dryly. "Yeah."

When they came back into the house, they nearly bumped into Daphne.

"Hello, sister."

Astoria raised an eyebrow. "Hi."

"I'll be over there", whispered Amelia and went into the ball room where the party was going on.

"Well, congratulations!", said Astoria with a fake smile which expressed her disapproval better than any angry look would have.

Daphne answered with the same fake smile. "Thank you. How are things going with Malfoy?"

"Perfect", said Astoria, still faking a smile. "Really, he's amazing, and so is his family."

Daphne grabbed her arm and looked at the Dark Mark. "Seriously?"

Astoria tore her arm away from her sister's grip. Her fake smile had faded. "Back off."

"Don't you dare tell _me _to back off!", hissed Daphne. "This is _my_ party. I'm our parents pride!"

"Yes, you always were. Always better than me, right? But, look – I got to marry the guy you always wanted to have. Who's better off now?"

"Shut the hell up. What do you know about me, huh? Nothing! You're just a little slut and I bet Malfoy knows. He wouldn't have forced you into the Death Eater thing if you were more than a dirty little -"

Astoria interrupted her angry. "But _Nott_ loves you? Seriously, you want to tell me -"

"Enough!", yelled Daphne. "You're a shame for our family! After tonight, I don't ever want to see you again."

"Fine", hissed Astoria. "I'd appreciate that."

They gave each other evil looks before they left into different directions.

"Bitch", whispered Astoria and went into the ball room to search for Amelia.

xxx

Draco had spent the evening talking to people he knew from school or to fellow Death Eaters. After he had ended his last conversation, he looked around in the great hall to find his wife.

It didn't last long until his eyes found her: in a corner with that Amelia girl and a glass of Firewhisky. He grinned; she didn't look like this was her first glass. Plus, she looked amazingly beautiful in the green dress - it underlined her curves perfectly and the silver high-heels & the silver jewlery she was wearing made her look breathtakingly sexy.

When he started to make his way through the crowd towards her, he was stopped by a guy from the Ministry of Magic who wanted to talk to him about a job.

While the guy talked and Draco listened halfway, he looked past the guy at Astoria who wasn't that far away anymore. But what he recognized wasn't her laughing with her friend but many guys standing in small intervalls around her and staring at her; litterally _staring. _

He felt that he got angry because she wasn't theirs to stare at, she was _his_.

"Excuse me", he said to the Ministry guy. "I gotta go."

He made his way through the crowd and laid his hands on Astoria's hips from behind which caused her to wince for a moment, because she hadn't seen him coming until she realized that it was him.

"Let's dance", said Draco. His voice was slightly husky and he knew that she would notice it.

Astoria looked at him. "Later, okay? I'm not in the mood right now, I've had a fight with my bitchy sister earlier and -"

"That wasn't a question, hun", said Draco in a half-joking superior voice.

She rolled her eyes on him and laughed. "Okay, then. Catch up later?", she asked Amelia.

"Yeah, have fun", laughed her best friend. "I'll be fine."

"Thought you don't like to dance?", asked Amelia while he led her towards the dance floor.

Draco didn't answer. They were dancing close and when he looked past her, he could still see lots of guys staring at his wife. Well, he couldn't blame them – if she wasn't his wife, he would probably stare at her, too. But she _was_ his wife. _His_.

"I like your dress", he whispered into her ear.

"Thanks", smiled Astoria. "Your mother gave it to me."  
>"But I'd rather have you without it and beneath me", he replied and gave her his smug grin.<br>Astoria grinned. "I'd love that."

He spinned her round and looked deep into her eyes before he kissed her. At first, she was very surprised because they were on a dancefloor after all and in the middle of many people; but after a few seconds, she stopped worrying and let go.

"We should leave soon", whispered Draco against her neck.

"Yeah", whispered Astoria. "I want to feel you inside of me."

When he looked at her, she recognized that his eyes were dark and clouded by desire.

"I'll tell my parents that we're leaving", he said then. "Meet you in three minutes at the front door."

"Okay", said Astoria and kissed him before he left into the crowd.

xxx

_turning the lights out_

_burning the candles_

_and the mirrors gonna fog tonight_

_turning the lights out_

_tighten the handcuffs_

_and the mirrors gonna fog tonight_

_sex, love, control, vanity_

xxx

The next morning, Astoria woke up with a headache.

"Ouch", was the first thing she said when she woke up. Draco was already gone.

When she searched in her handbag for some headache meds, she accidentally grabbed a tiny little bottle. She felt like her heart stopped beating. _Crap_. She had forgotten to take the birth control potion last night.

xxx

_**could you please take a minute or less, write a review & make me happy? :)**_


	7. Decisions

**Chapter 7**

"**Decisions"**

_**six weeks later**_

Astoria and Amelia were lying on a grassland and tried to get their bodies tanned.

"I think I might be pregnant", whispered Astoria suddenly.

Amelia sat up. "You – _what_?"

"I forgot to take the birth control potion after my sisters engagement party."

"So...do I get to be the godmother of your little Malfoy?", grinned Amelia.

Astoria looked at her. Shocked. "No! I mean – yeah, if I would give birth to the baby."

"You – you're not?"  
>"No way", replied Astoria instantly. "I mean, I can't get a <em>baby<em> now, can I? My whole life would be ruined!"

"But what are you going to do?"  
>Astoria shrugged. "I don't know."<p>

"Are you serious? What – do you really think the Malfoys are going to be okay with an abortion? I'm sure they want an heir and -"  
>"Screw them!", snapped Astoria. "Seriously! It's my body. They don't need to know."<br>"What about Draco?", asked Amelia.  
>"Since when do <em>you<em> care about him?"  
>"I don't. But...I think he wants to know. And I think you want him to know."<p>

Astoria groaned. "Shut up, Amelia."

"You know that I'm right", replied her best friend. "Come on. You're just confused. Let's – let's find out if you're right about the pregnancy."  
>"I've tried to", snapped Astoria. "I'm too dumb to perform the stupid spell."<p>

"You know that I had always got an O in charms class, don't ya?", grinned Amelia and pulled her wand out of her pocket.

"Look at that", grinned Amelia a few minutes later. "Looks like you're going to have a little Malfoy in eight months."

"Shut up", hissed Astoria. "I don't believe in your charms."  
>Amelia rolled her eyes. "Admit it, hun. You're carrying a little Malfoy inside of your body. I'm pretty sure it's gonna be blond, seems like this gene is dominant in that family."<p>

"Seriously?", snapped Astoria and got up.

"Wait!", said Amelia and grabbed her best friend's wrist.

Astoria stopped her movements instantly and turned around to face her. "Shut the hell up!", she yelled. "I'm not going to do this, anyway. And freaking stop calling it _little Malfoy_!"

"I'm sorry", said Amelia. "Calm down. I didn't mean to offend you."

Astoria sat down again and lightened a cigarette. "I'm sorry", she said then.

Amelia smiled. "It's alright. Give me a cig."

xxx

Astoria knocked at Draco's door when she came home. "Hey", she smiled and walked in.

He looked up from the Daily Prophet. "Hey."

Astoria sat down on his bed. "Err...you know, there's something we need to discuss. Well, not _discuss_...I need to tell you something."

"Okay."  
>"I - " She looked down onto the floor. "I'm pregnant."<br>He laid the newspaper aside. "Astoria."

"I can't believe this is happening!", she said desperately. "I forgot to take the stupid potion once and, well. We need to find a possibility to end this. You know, there's a muggle method called abortion, I thought maybe -"

Draco raised an eyebrow. "What the hell are you talking about?"  
>"I don't want a baby. And I hope that you understand."<br>"You're getting one. End of discussion", hissed Draco.

"Eh – what? No, I -"  
>"Astoria, listen. This is how it's supposed to be. We marry, you get a baby."<p>

"Dude, I'm seventeen! There's no way I'm doing this. Seriously, I – we could have a baby later, in five years or something, but not now!"  
>"Stop talking!" She could tell that he was angry. "You've got duties."<p>

Astoria rolled her eyes. "Screw duties! I want to have a _life_, not a baby!"

"You got to be kidding me!" Draco got up. "This is _my _baby you're carrying, don't forget about that."

"It's my freaking body!", replied Astoria and got up as well. "You can't tell me what to do with my body. And the least thing I want to do is a pregnancy!"

"Yes, I can tell you what to do with your body!", yelled Draco. "I'm your husband, you have to do what I say."  
>"I – what? You're not serious, are you?"<p>

"Fuck, I am serious. I swear, if you end this pregnancy -"

"What, huh? Do you want to kill me?"

"I don't. But I'm sure _he's_ going to. Don't forget about that; you're already screwed and if the Dark Lord finds out that you killed a pureblood baby, he's sure as hell going to kill you. You've already screwed up, you can't just do one stupid mistake after the other!"

"Ending the pregnancy is not a mistake! I'm seventeen, you're nineteen, we're no parents!"

"You're going to be eighteen when you give birth to the child."  
>"Yeah, great, that's a huge difference." She rolled her eyes again. "And I'm not going to give birth to this child, I promise."<p>

"You're going to", hissed Draco. "I don't want to hear anything from you anymore. I told you what to do."  
>Astoria looked at him in disbelief. "Screw you", she said and left the room.<p>

She heard him yelling, "Fuck, you can't run away from this!", but she ignored him.

She fell down onto her bed and after she had taken a few deep breaths, she felt the tears coming up. She spent the rest of the afternoon sobbing into her pillow.

xxx

When she came down for dinner at 6pm, Narcissa Malfoy got up and hugged her.

"Draco told us about the joyous news!", she said with a huge smile. "We're so _proud_, Astoria!"

"H – he did?", asked Astoria shocked and looked at Draco who looked straight into her eyes. _Bastard_, she thought.

xxx

As soon as the dinner was over, Astoria headed towards her room. She had tried to fake a smile when Dracos parents wanted to talk about the baby; but now it was all coming down on her.

While she grabbed her handbag and checked wether everything was still inside of it, she heard him opening her door.  
>"Where do you think you're going?", asked Draco.<br>"Why do you care", snapped Astoria and wanted to walk past him.

He grabbed her wrist and held her back. "No. I don't want you to run to Amelia again! This is _our _fight, _we _need to discuss this!"

"I thought you've already made your mind up...referring to the fact that you freaking told your parents." She spoke surprisingly calm but her voice was trembling.

"You would've killed my baby if I hadn't told them! Which choice did I have?"  
>"Support me, maybe?" Astoria nearly yelled.<p>

"Come on, don't act like a little child. You know that you can't do this. We have to get this baby and, I don't know, it'll work out!"

"You think?"

"Yeah."

Astoria rolled her eyes. "Let me go", she whispered.

Draco didn't let her wrist go. "No. I want you to stay tonight."

She looked into his eyes. "I love you, Draco. But right now, I hate you."

He laughed. "Well, I can live with that."

xxx

When they came back from the breakfast the next morning, Astoria let herself fall onto the bed and closed her eyes.

"I can't believe this", she said then. "Your parents are so _excited_ about the pregnancy..."

"Yes they are", replied Draco.

"We...I mean, this baby...it would have Death Eaters as parents, Draco! It'd be screwed up from the beginning!"

"Our parents are Death Eaters, too."

Astoria looked at him. "That's what I'm talking about...my father is a Death Eater and he's cold and cruel and...I don't want to do that to a baby. I know that your father is similar to mine and...I...you have to be nice to this baby. If we're going to do this, I...don't want it to grow up like I did."

"We'll have to raise the child like they want us to. We've got -"

Astoria interrupted him. "_Duties_. Yeah, I know. What I mean is...isn't it kinda cruel to put an innocent baby into a world full of hatred and...Death Eaters?"

"It happens all the time. Come on, the baby is going to survive it!"

"I'm not sure about that! I don't want to screw up as a..._mother_. This place, the people...everything's _dark_ and not meant to be the place for a kid to grow up."

"We could get our own place, that's not the problem."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah, I didn't plan on living at my parent's house for the rest of my life", said Draco.

xxx

In the evening, the Malfoys had invited Bellatrix Lestrange and her husband and, of course, Astoria's family for a baby-shower-dinner.

"I really hope my sister isn't going to accompany my parents tonight", said Astoria.

She and Draco were hanging out at the Dining Hall and waited for the guests to arrive.

"Even if she does", said Draco and got up from his chair. "She won't insult you in front of everyone."

He joined his wife who was standing at the window and looked at the landscape. She was wearing a tight-fitting, black dress and black high-heels.

"You look hot", he whispered.

She could feel him close behind her. She turned around. "Well, that's not going to last ...I'm going to be fat soon. The dresses aren't going to fit anymore..."

Draco kissed her. "Only temporary."

"Yeah, but if you'll complain, I'll remind you who talked me into this", grinned Astoria.

They didn't recognize that some of the guests had arrived because they were busy snogging.

"There you are!", said Bellatrix Lestrange and came towards them. Draco and Astoria went quickly apart.

Astoria felt awkward when the woman looked straight at her and touched her belly. "A pureblood baby", whispered Bellatrix. Then she looked up to Astoria. "You did everything right, didn't you?"

"Excuse me?", asked Astoria confused.

"It's a boy, right? Or have you screwed up again?"

"I – I don't know what it is yet", replied Astoria. "I just found out about the pregnancy."

"Hmm." Bellatrix turned around to talk to Draco. "Drakey!"

Astoria nearly laughed when she saw Draco's facial expression while his aunt kissed his cheek. When their eyes met, he grinned.

The situation became even more awkward when Astoria's parents arrived. At least they hadn't brought Daphne with them, but Astoria felt kinda threatened when her father told her to get a boy and that she would be in trouble if she got a girl.

Her mother seemed to be really happy. She whispered "Tori, your father is so proud!", which caused Astoria to look at her like she had just said that she was a Squib.

While the family discussed really awful baby names during the dinner, Draco suddenly said: "I think Scorpius Hyperion would be an appropriate name". And while everyone was like "oh, yes, very good", Astoria just looked at her husband in disbelief.

xxx

"Seriously?", she asked when they entered his room after the dinner. "_Scorpius_?"

Draco looked at her and laughed. "You don't like it, do you?"  
>"Of course not." Astoria raised an eyebrow. "I grew up with the name <em>Astoria<em> and it was awful...I don't want our baby to be named like...I don't know, a slimy little moron."

"Okay, _Tori_", teased Draco. "We could discuss that later."

"Alright, _Drakey_." She laughed when he grimaced as she said the name his aunt Bellatrix gave him.

"Don't ever call me like that again", said Draco, grinned, came towards her until her back met the wall and kissed her.

xxx

Astoria was the one to break the silence in which they lay on the bed after the sex. "I told Amelia that she's going to be the godmother of our baby."

Draco looked at her. "Are you serious?"  
>"Of course."<br>"I can't stand her. I don't want my baby to be with that bitch if something ever happens to us."

"She's my best friend!", replied Astoria upset.

"Yeah", said Draco, "I've never got that."

Astoria rolled her eyes. "Who would _you_ suggest as a godmother?"

"Bellatrix. My parents already said that she's going to be -"

Astoria interrupted him. "What? No, that's – you're kidding, right?"  
>"No I'm not. The decision has already been made."<p>

"Without asking me?"

He just looked at her.

"I don't want Bellatrix Lestrange to be the godmother of my baby!", continued Astoria. "I don't trust her! I'd never give my baby to her!"  
>"You won't have to."<p>

"Who knows?"

They remained silent for a while. Astoria couldn't believe what he was doing to her...

"Okay", she said then. "Fine. But if you got to choose a godmother, I want to choose one, too. That's just fair."


	8. Shattered

**Chapter 8**

"Shattered"

_Yesterday I died, tomorrow's bleeding  
>Fall into your sunlight<br>The future's open wide beyond believing  
>To know why hope dies<br>Losing what was found, a world so hollow  
>Suspended in a compromise<br>The silence of this sound is soon to follow  
>Somehow sundown<em>

At first Astoria was glad when her labor pains started because she was really tired of being fat, hungry and bitchy.

They were having lunch when Astoria felt the pain coming. She had expected that they'd take her to the Hospital – but they didn't.

Instead, Narcissa Malfoy and Bellatrix Lestrange told her to come upstairs with them and give birth to the baby in her bedroom.

"What?", had Astoria said in panic. "No, I want a doctor, I -"

"Hun", had Naricssa said, "this is how we do it." This statement had left no space for her to talk back.

Draco and Lucius Malfoy were supposed to wait downstairs until it was over. Astoria was kind of glad that Draco wouldn't be there because she was pretty sure that she was going to look awful while she would give birth to their baby.

_And finding answers  
>Is forgetting all of the questions we called home<em>

After a few hours, she was in constant pain. The contractions didn't seem to stop and Narcissa telling her to _PUSH_ and Bellatrix telling her to pull herself together weren't very helpful.

"No", said Astoria. She was crying. "I can't. I can't, it hurts, I..."  
>"You have to", hissed Bellatrix. "Come on!"<br>"No", sobbed Astoria, "I want Amelia. Can – can you get her, please?"

"No, I'm sorry", said Narcissa. "Just _push_."

_As reason clouds my eyes, with splendor fading  
>Illusions of the sunlight<br>And the reflection of a lie will keep me waiting  
>Love gone for so long <em>

It had been the most awful hours of her life but she survived it – and so did the baby. Finally, after Astoria had been close to being unconsciousness, Narcissa had been able to grab the baby.

Astoria didn't really realize that Narcissa murmured "_Episkey_" to reduce Astoria's pain, wrapped the baby into a towel and went out of the room.

As soon as the spell had an effect and Astoria felt better, she tried to breathe normally.

"Where – where is – where are they?", she asked confused.

Bellatrix just looked at her and raised an eyebrow.

"Mrs Malfoy and my baby!", asked Astoria. "Where are they?"

"Don't worry", said Bellatrix with a fake grin. "They're downstairs."  
>"I – I want to see my baby!", said Astoria shocked.<p>

Bellatrix rolled her eyes. "This isn't about what _you _want."

"What's happening?", yelled Astoria and wanted to get up. "Where is my baby?"

"Lie the fuck down!", yelled Bellatrix and pointed her wand at her.

Astoria looked at her in disbelief. "What the hell is going on?", she said then, still yelling but not as loud as before.

"None of your business", snapped Bellatrix.

"Are you freaking kidding me? It's MY baby they've taken!"

"Oh come on, shut the hell up. Bad enough that I'm stuck in here with you", snapped Bellatrix angry. Her piercing gave never left Astoria.

"You – what? Please, tell me what's - ", started Astoria in a desperate and pleading voice.

"Shut up", stated Bellatrix simply.

Astoria cried again. She didn't know what to do. She was weak because she had just given birth to a human being which had torn her insides apart and now she felt like she couldn't move, at all. But she desperately wanted to see her baby, wanted to protect it.

"Can you call Amelia?", she sobbed then. "Send her an owl, pick her up,..."

"What did I tell you?", snapped Bellatrix.

Astoria tired to catch her breath, but she couldn't. Just leaned back and tried to breathe in and breathe out...but there didn't seem to be enough oxygen.

At some point, she just closed her eyes. She wanted to escape the situation, pretend like she wasn't being threatened by the aunt of her husband...

But then, suddenly, her eyes flew open and they were filled with horror when she looked at Bellatrix. "He is here", she said then. It wasn't a question; she was sure.

When Bellatrix didn't answer, Astoria yelled at her again. "_He_ is here! The Dark Lord, I can feel it, he's in this house, right now! What – what are they doing to my baby?" Her voice was trembling and tears were running down her cheeks.

"Stop it", hissed Bellatrix.

"No! What – what are they doing? What the hell is going on here?"

Bellatrix gave her an evil grin. "All is well."

"You're lying!", yelled Astoria.

Every time she wanted to get out of her bed, ignoring her pain, Bellatrix came closer; she didn't lower her wand once.

"Where is Draco?", she asked then. "I – I wanna see him."

Bellatrix didn't answer, but she didn't need to; Astoria knew.

_Who I am from the start  
>Take me home to my heart<br>Let me go and I will run  
>I will not be silenced <em>

She laid back again; she didn't even try to stop sobbing anymore. She was pathetically trying to breathe while tears were running out of her red and swollen eyes down her cheeks.

What if they'd never let her see the baby? What if they gave it to the Dark Lord, what if they hurt it? Was that why Draco had forced her into getting the baby, because he had known that his status would be upgraded as soon as he gave a Pureblood baby to the Dark Lord?

She closed her eyes and wiped some tears away. _No_.

They wouldn't do something that cruel, right...?

Or would they?

She took a deep breath. _No_.

Draco seemed to be with them...with the baby. All she could do right now was hoping that he would protect their baby...despite the doubts she momentarily had in him.

Astoria wasn't sure wether he loved her enough, after all...or if he loved her, _at all_.

But the baby was important to him, right? More important than his status as a Death Eater?

_There's a light  
>There's the sun<br>Taking all the shattered ones  
>To the place we belong<br>And his love will conquer _

After some time, which had seemed like an eternity to Astoria, the door flew open and the whole Malfoy family entered the room. That was the point when Bellatrix finally lowered her wand.

Astoria's eyes met Draco's and she knew that all was well. Nevertheless, she was afraid..she hadn't seen her baby yet.

But her worries disappeared when Narcissa Malfoy finally gave the baby to her.

Astoria felt the tears coming up again; but this time, it were happy tears.  
>"Beautiful", she breathed between happy sobs.<p>

"Yes he is", said Draco. He stood beside her bed and smiled. "He's perfect."

Astoria looked up at him. "It – it's a boy?"  
>"Yes", replied Draco proud.<p>

She smiled. "Yeah, Scorpius is perfect", said Astoria, finally giving in to Draco's ridiculous choice of a baby name.

xxx

She had been too exhausted to ask what had been going on; but she hadn't given the baby to anyone. She didn't plan on ever letting him go again.

Astoria had taken a shower and changed her clothes. Thanks to the spells, she wasn't in much pain anymore.

When she came out of the bathroom, she saw that Draco was in her room and watched their baby sleeping peacefully in his crib.

She went through the room and joined him – but only for a few seconds because she felt the pain again, so she decided to go to bed.

There were so many questions on her mind but she was too exhausted to pose one of them, so she just slept.

She had a night full of nightmares about her baby being taken away and crazy Bellatrix.

xxx

It was 2pm when Astoria finally woke up. At first, she felt like her heart stopped beating because neither Draco nor the baby were there; but they entered the room soon.

"Hey sleepy", said Draco, kissed her, put the baby back into the crib and came into the bed.

"Hey", said Astoria. "Where have you been?"  
>"My mother changed his diapers and stuff", replied Draco. "You okay?"<br>Astoria nodded. "Yeah, I guess."

She watched Scorpius sleeping for a while. "What was going on yesterday?", she asked then. She wasn't even sure wether she wanted to know...the question had come out unintentionally.

She felt Draco's eyes piercing her but she ignored it. "A ceremony", he said then.

Astoria looked at him. "What?"

"Yeah, nothing unusual. They just – created a magical bounding between Scorpius and me. And him and my parents."

"What?", asked Astoria shocked. "Why?"

Draco shrugged. "Tradition."

"Tra - … I don't understand."

"Because he's a Pureblood and the Dark Lord wanted to create a bounding between him and us. Nothing bad happened to him, you don't need to worry; he didn't even notice it."

"Do they think that I'll kidnap him?", laughed Astoria.

"I don't know, maybe", shrugged Draco.  
>She looked at him in disbelief. "I was just kidding."<p>

When he didn't answer, she turned her head to look at Scorpius again.

_Yesterday I died, tomorrow's bleeding  
>Fall into your sunlight <em>

"I won't get such a magical bounding, will I?", she asked after a while.

"No", stated Draco simply without looking at her.

Astoria nodded. "Yeah, that's what I thought. But – I'm his mother! What am I supposed to do? It's like – you and your parents are in charge of Scorpius and I'm not." She felt the tears coming up again. "That's not fair, Draco. You could just take him away from me and I would be powerless, right?"

"Look at me", said Draco.

Astoria took a deep breath before she did.

He looked deep into her wet eyes and wiped her tears away. "I would never take Scorpius away from you. Do you understand? That was just a family thing I had to do, nothing more. Nobody is planing on taking him away, I promise."

Astoria nodded. "I was just so _afraid_. When your aunt threatened me and didn't tell me what was going on...I thought I'd never get to see our baby."

"She's a bitch", said Draco and smiled. "I'm sorry."

He leaned forward and kissed her softly. When he looked into her eyes, Astoria knew that he wasn't lying; she could trust him.

And maybe he _did_ love her.


	9. I Love the way you lie

**A/N: PLEASE READ THE LYRICS. I know it's annoying sometimes; but during this chapter (& the next one), it's gonna be important for the storyline!**

**Chapter 9**

**"I l****ove the way you lie"**

It was 11pm and Astoria was standing in the kitchen when Draco came home from a mission.

"Hey", she smiled happily when he entered. "You okay?"

He kissed her quickly and nodded. "Need a shower." Then he was gone.

_Just gonna stand there and watch me burn  
>But that's alright because I like<br>the way it hurts  
>Just gonna stand there and hear me cry<br>But that's alright because I love  
>the way you lie<br>I love the way you lie_

Yes, Astoria fucking _knew _that his job wasn't an easy one and that the Dark Lord's missions were cruel and awful most of the time. Yes, she knew that she shouldn't expect much from her husband when he came home. And yet still, she felt the tears coming up; she couldn't stop wondering...

Astoria and Draco had moved to an apartment in London when Scorpius had been three months old; Astoria had been very happy that Draco had suggested that because she didn't want Scorpius to grow up at the Malfoy Manor. But for her, living at this apartment also meant being lonely; Scorpius was two years old now and he was a good kid, he slept a lot; plus they had got an house elf who did all the housework like cooking and laundry.

Amelia was married to Blaise Zabini since one year; her parents had forced her to. She wasn't happy but Blaise was a good guy (also good-_looking_) and for Amelia, it was okay now. For Astoria, this marriage meant that she couldn't see her best friend that often anymore; another reason for her loneliness.

The point is: Astoria couldn't stop wondering wether Draco cheated on her during his missions. She _knew_ him like nobody else did which means she knew exactly that he needed lots of sex; and whenever he was gone more than a few days, she couldn't stop wondering wether he got that sex somewhere else...

During the three years of their marriage, Astoria had told him that she loved him more than once and he hadn't said it back yet. Yeah, she knew that he cared about her...but was that enough?

_I can't tell you what it really is  
>I can only tell you what it feels like<br>And right now there's a steel knife  
>In my windpipe<em>

Draco found his wife waiting for him in the bedroom when he came out of the shower.

"You okay?", she asked again. "How...how was it?"  
>"Seriously?", snapped Draco, who was standing in the doorframe, and crossed his arms.<p>

_I can't breathe  
>But I still fight while I can fight<br>As long as the wrong feels right  
>It's like I'm in flight <em>

Astoria sighted. "I _care _about you, okay? You've been gone for nearly two weeks and I think it's okay for me to ask?"

"Yeah well, your questions are annoying", snapped Draco.

When he pierced her with his eyes, Astoria shivered; there was something cold and cruel in his look...something she wasn't used to. Well, something that had developed further and appeared more often...

_High of a love, drunk from the hate  
>It's like I'm huffing paint<br>And I love it the more that I suffer  
>I suffocate <em>

"Look", said Astoria; her voice was trembling and she hoped that he wouldn't notice it, "I can see that you're hurting. I'm trying to make this work here. I'm trying to make _us_ work."

She got up and walked towards him, ignoring the fact that he raised an eyebrow when she did so. She stood in front of him for a while before she hugged him and whispered: "I missed you."

_And right before im about to drown  
>She resuscitates me <em>

"Stop it", hissed Draco and pushed her away from him. He couldn't do this cuddling crap now; not _now_ after what he had been through. Although it was comforting to know that she'd always be around, he didn't want to give his cold attitude up because he couldn't risk his wall inside of him breaking down. Letting his emotions come out would be too much to handle.

"Screw you", whispered Astoria and avoided his gaze because her eyes were filling up with tears again.

_She fucking hates me  
>And I love it <em>

"I can't do this anymore", whispered Astoria and turned around to leave.

"_Wait where you going"  
>"I'm leaving you"<br>"No you ain't. Come back" _

She couldn't even make one step away from him before he grabbed her wrist hard and held her back. She knew that she wouldn't get an apology – _ever_ – because he was still Draco Malfoy and still an arrogant ass, but she could swear that his look told her that he was sorry.

He looked straight into her big, wet eyes; damn it, he couldn't fucking stop hurting her, could he? He hated himself for hurting her but he didn't stop doing it.

Draco kissed her hard and Astoria didn't resist although she knew that she should. When he pushed her gently back on the bed, she couldn't help it but feel good when she finally felt him close again.

_We're running right back  
>Here we go again<br>It's so insane  
>Cause when it's going good<br>It's going great _

And although his actions during the sex were rather rough than gently, she loved evey second of it.

xxx

Draco slept until the afternoon the next day; he was exhausted from his mission which, by the way, hadn't been as successful as it should have been.

When he woke up, he stretched out and noticed that he was alone; Astoria was probably out for a walk with Scorpius.

He yawned. _Astoria_. He couldn't tell why he was so _fucking angry_ at her all the time...actually, she didn't ever do anything bad, right?

_But when it's bad  
>It's awful<br>I feel so ashamed _

Meanwhile, it always went the same way; he would come home from a mission - pissed off as hell. At first, he would insult her and yell at her; she would at first be patient and then yell back with tears running down her cheeks. Then, after a while, he would recognize that it was senseless and that he was being cruel; he would look at her and they would have make-up sex.

Draco rolled his eyes at that thought. _Screw this_. He got up, got dressed and went through the apartment, looking for Astoria.

When found neither her nor Scorpius, he thought that she was probably out for a walk with him and looked instinctively out of the window. He saw her with their son at the street in front of the house, talking to a guy. _What the fuck?_ He felt the familiar anger again.

_I snap  
>Who's that dude<br>I don't even know his name_

Draco ignored Astoria when she came into the apartment about five minutes later; he just stayed in the living room and waited until she had put their baby to sleep.

"You little bitch", he hissed when she entered the room.

"Hello?", replied Astoria confused. "What's your problem?"

He came towards her in a blind rage; his hand hit her cheek hard. Her head flew to the side and she had trouble holding back her tears. _Again._

_I laid hands on her  
>I'll never stoop so low again<br>I guess I don't know my own strength_

„What the hell did you think you were doing?", yelled Draco.

„I don't know what you're talking about", stated Astoria afraid.  
>His cold eyes scared her when he made a step forward; she made one step backward. This game worked out until she bumped with her back against the wall.<p>

She felt him gripping her wrists hard. When he pressed them against the wall, she knew that she was going to have bruises the next day.

„Don't you dare do this again!", he hissed angry.

„Do _what _again?", replied Astoria confused.

„Stop pretending that you don't know what I'm talking about!", yelled her husband. „If you'll _ever _flirt with that moron again, I'm going to hurt you", hissed Draco then and gave her one last angry look before he left the room.

_Just gonna stand there and watch me burn  
>But that's alright because I like<br>the way it hurts  
>Just gonna stand there and hear me cry<br>But that's alright because I love  
>the way you lie<br>I love the way you lie_

Astoria didn't know how long she had been sitting on the floor of the living room with her back leaned against the wall.

After Draco had left and slammed the door angrily, she had fallen down to the floor...her legs had been too weak to keep her up anymore.

She hadn't cried yet; it surprised her because honestly, she was an emotional girl and cried very easily. But now, she was in a shock.

Had this happened? Had her husband really hit her?

The pain on her cheek reminded her of the fact that he had.

_You ever love somebody so much  
>You can barely breathe<br>When you're with them  
>You meet<br>And neither one of you  
>Even know what hit 'em <em>

They had never been exclusive at school because Draco fucking Malfoy didn't _date _anybody...actually, he had treated her like crap. And yet still, they hadn't been able to fight it – no matter how hard they had yelled at each other, no matter how much they had hated each other – the chemistry between them had been too powerful to ignore it and so they had always ended up together, even if it had just been for one night. _Always._

_Got that warm fuzzy feeling  
>Yeah them chills<br>Used to get 'em  
>Now you're getting fucking sick<br>Of looking at 'em _

Draco sat on the floor of the baby's room and watched Scorpius play with some toys...he looked at his son but his thoughts were somewhere else.

Damn it, he had never wanted to hurt Astoria; but since his missions had become more cruel, since the Dark Lord had become more powerful than ever, something inside of Draco had changed. He was angry and pissed off – and he didn't know why.

Astoria was a breathtakingly beautiful, cute girl who didn't deserve it to be hurt he suddenly thought when pieces of memories flashed through his mind...

_You swore you've never hit 'em  
>Never do nothing to hurt 'em <em>

He had to make this work again. He didn't know how, but he had to; he wouldn't survive losing her (although he'd rather die than admit that he _needed_ her).

Draco lifted Scorpius in his arms, disappeared with him, gave him to his parents without explaining them why, and returned to the apartment. Something told him that this would be a fight their son shouldn't see.

His heart was beating heavily in his chest when he entered the living room.

Astoria looked up at him with a scared facial expression and got up from the floor.

"What do you want?", she asked. Her voice sounded way more confident than he had thought it would be.

"Baby", he started and made a few steps towards her.

Astoria closed her eyes and raised her right hand. "Don't", she whispered.

_Now you're in each other's face  
>Spewing venom<br>And these words  
>When you spit 'em <em>

"Let me explain", said Draco. He was still calm..._still_.

Astoria's eyes flew open. "No. I don't want an explanation or an apology! You know what? Fuck, I don't want _anything _from _you_ anymore."

"What's that supposed to mean?", hissed Draco.

Astoria just looked at him.

"No", hissed Draco and blocked the door. "You're not going to go _anywhere_."

"Screw you!", yelled Astoria and tried to push him away, but he didn't let her.

_You push_

_Pull each other's hair  
>Scratch, claw, bit 'em<em>

_Throw 'em down_

_Pin 'em _

She gave up when she was lying on the floor and had Draco painfully pinning her arms down - he was just too strong.

"Get the fuck off me!", she yelled; she wasn't able to yell that loudly anymore because she felt weak and defeated and exhausted.

"No."

"Asshole", spit Astoria.

"Bitch", hissed Draco.

They stared into each others eyes, none of them wanting to give in. Astoria could feel the anger flushing through her whole body and she could tell that Draco felt the same. His grip on her wrists became more painful with every second and she could literally feel the bruises she was going to have tomorrow; but she didn't care. She wouldn't tell him what he wanted to hear – that she wouldn't leave. Because as soon as he'd let her go, she'd fucking leave. Screw this.

Draco felt the familiar anger again as he pinned her down on the floor. What the hell was that bitch thinking? Leaving him, Draco freaking Malfoy? Never.

They went on staring in each others eyes; and then, suddenly, they kissed. They couldn't tell who had started this – probably the both of them at the same time.

When they kissed roughly and he bit her neck, causing her to moan in pain and in pleasure, she felt that her anger increased, but it also mixed up with lust and desire.

_So lost in the moments  
>When you're in 'em<br>It's the rage that took over  
>It controls you both <em>

This was so fucking _wrong_ and Astoria knew that she should protest, but deep down, she didn't want to protest; he had this effect on her every _single_ time, even if she was completely pissed off.

He let go of her wrists while he was still busy _marking_ her neck; Draco touched her breasts roughly through the fabric of her shirt before he placed his hands on her hips as if he wanted to hold her in place.

They were both breathing heavily because of the rough actions and their anger which was now mixed up with the uncontrollable lust.

Draco pulled her skirt up and pushed her underwear aside before he allowed her to open his trousers. When he thrusted into her and pulled out again, he didn't leave time for her to catch a breath before he thrusted into her again once more. There was nothing gentle about this – he moved roughly on top of her, not caring that her back met the floor hard with each thrust. She tried to avoid his eyes but when she stopped and looked at him, all the air seemed to disappear under his cold gaze, leaving her breathless underneath him.

He made her his with one gaze, reminded her of all the reasons she could never leave him no matter how angry she was, no matter how much he hurt her, and they both knew it.

When she came, screaming out his name, and he collapsed on top of her seconds later, the anger was gone.

For now.

_So they say it's best  
>To go your separate ways<br>Guess that they don't know ya  
>Cause today<br>That was yesterday  
>Yesterday is over<br>It's a different day _

_Damn it!_, thought Astoria when she stood under the hot water of the shower. They hadn't even talked yet; well, maybe because she had left after she had been able to catch her breath again. _Screw him_.

Draco was lazily laying on the couch when Astoria came back from the shower and although she didn't want to, she was the first one to talk. "Where's Scorpius?"  
>"Brought him over to my parents."<br>"Nice from you to tell me", snapped Astoria. "Why?"

"Didn't want him to witness our fight."

S_ound like broken records  
>Playin' over<br>But you promised her  
>Next time you'll show restraint<br>You don't get another chance  
>Life is no Nintendo game <em>

Astoria sighted and sat down across from him, ready to forgive him...but then suddenly, her jaw dropped.

"You – you're such an ass!", she yelled and got up again. "You just brought him to your parents to stop me from leaving you! How pathetic are you?"

_Crap_, he hadn't expected her to notice that.

"We're _so _done!", she yelled, got up and ran out of the apartment before he could stop her.

_But you lied again  
>Now you get to watch her leave<br>Out the window  
>Guess that's why they call it window pane<em>

xxx

_Just gonna stand there and watch me burn  
>But that's alright because I like<br>the way it hurts  
>Just gonna stand there and hear me cry<br>But that's alright because I love  
>the way you lie<br>I love the way you lie_

"...you know, I thought I knew him but I guess I've been wrong about that. He's unpredictable in a way that scares the hell out of me", Astoria sobbed.

Amelia nodded. "I know, honey. I know. It's gonna be alright, do you understand me?"

"It's NOT gonna be alright! How could it? My _child_ is with those creepy people who won't give him to me and my husband is an abusive, violent _ass_!", snapped Astoria.

"We're going to get your kid, I promise! And Draco, well, I don't want to say I told you...but I freakin' told ya. From the very beginning I told you that he's -"

"Don't give me that! Not now. Please", added Astoria.

"Okay", replied Amelia. "Sorry. Well, where was I?...yeah, you're gonna leave him and -"

"I can't just _leave_ him! I fucking wish I could! Dude, do you recognize in what kind of fucked up world we live? Once you're married, you can't just take that back! You should know that you're stuck with Blaise for the rest of your life, and so am I with Draco freaking Malfoy! And Scorpius – if I left Draco, I'd lose my child because of the fucking _bonding_ they've created between my fucking husband and our kid! So, you can't just tell me to _leave_ him because, you know, _I can't_! No matter how bad he treats me, he's legally allowed to do that! Only he could give our marriage up and he won't! If I'd complain somewhere or if I wanted to _divorce_ him, they wouldn't let me because I'm a freaking woman! I have to do whatever he says, I have to fuck him whenever he demands it and –" Astoria couldn't go on because she had trouble breathing.

Amelia hugged her. "Breathe", she whispered. "Just breathe."

"I can't", whispered Astoria. "I can't do this anymore."

xxx

After hours of talking and crying, they just sat there in silence when suddenly the door to the living room opened.

"Who let you in?", snapped Amelia.

"Blaise", answered Draco and closed the door behind him. He felt kind of bad when he looked at Astoria who was cuddled up against her best friend; her cheek clearly showed where he had hit her and her eyes were swollen from the crying...

He cleared his throat. "Can we have a moment?"

Astoria squeezed Amelia's hand.

"No", said Amelia. "I'll stay here to make sure you don't beat the crap out of her again."

There were so many things Draco wanted to say – but he didn't; it would've just made everything worse. "Okay then", he said.

"_Now I know we said things, did things  
>That we didn't mean<br>And we fall back into the same patterns  
>Same routine<em>

_But your temper's just as bad as mine is  
>You're the same as me<br>But when it comes to love you're just as blinded_

_Baby please come back  
>It wasn't you<br>Baby it was me  
>Maybe our relationship isn't as crazy as it seems<br>Maybe that's what happens when a tornado meets a volcano  
>All I know is<br>I love you too much  
>To walk away though<em>

_Come inside  
>Pick up your bags off the sidewalk<br>Don't you hear sincerity in my voice when I talk?  
>Told you this is my fault<br>Look me in the eyeball  
>Next time I'm pissed I'll aim my fist at the dry wall<br>Next time  
>There will be no next time" <em>

When he had finished his speech, he noticed that Astoria was crying again...he didn't know whether this was a good or a bad sign...

"Look", he added, "I'm sorry baby. Really...sorry."

_I apologize  
>Even though I know it's lies<br>I'm tired of the games  
>I just want her back<br>I know I'm a liar _

Astoria looked up from the floor. "Can you give us a moment?", she asked Amelia.

Her best friend sighted. "I'll be next door." She leaned in closer and whispered: "Call me."

Astoria nodded and wiped her tears away.

After Amelia had left, Astoria got up and looked at Draco.

"I – I'm about to forgive you but please, don't make me! If I did, you'd just hurt me again and again and I don't want that anymore! I can't take your anger anymore! You won't talk to me, you'll just be _angry_. Like today! Look, I know that I'm the fucking wife and you're the freaking husband and yes my parents told me what my role in this fucking family hierarchy is! But yet still, I'm – fuck, I'm your _wife_! You're supposed to love me and not to - " She stopped and took a deep breath before she continued. "I can't take this anymore."

Draco looked at her until he was sure that she had finished her lecture. "I know", he said then. "I told you baby, I'm really sorry and I promise that it won't happen again. I know that that's what they always say, but you know me!"

"Yeah", she said with a sarcastic tone. "I do."

He was pissed off again. "Look", he said, "you broke the rules, too."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"When we got married, you were supposed to be a virgin. You weren't and I didn't tell anyone."

Astoria's jaw literally dropped. "I – we've had sex back at Hogwarts! You didn't care about the fact that I would've had to save my virginity for my future husband! And you couldn't know that that'd be you. Or – did you?"

"No I didn't know. But you haven't been a virgin when we fucked the first time."

"So what? You didn't know that, either."

"Look", said Draco, "all I'm saying is that I covered for you."

"And? Am I supposed to be thankful that you didn't tell anyone that you've already screwed me when I was fifteen?"

Draco closed his eyes for a few seconds to stop himself from getting angry again. "Let's stop fighting, baby", he said then and made a few steps towards her. "I love you."

Astoria opened her mouth, ready to snap back at him, but she just took a breath, smiled and looked down at the floor. Then she looked straight at him. "I love you, too."

"Does that mean that you forgive me?", he smirked.

Astoria nodded and wiped her happy tears away. "It's alright."

"What?", asked Amelia which caused Draco and Astoria to look towards the door where the young woman was standing. "No, you can't be serious! This guy treats you like crap, you can't just let him! Don't you see that he's lying? He just wants you back to have somebody to fool around!"

"I'm right here", hissed Draco.

When the two girls looked at him, he added: "I'll wait outside."

After he was gone, Astoria finally spoke. "Haven't you heard? He said it."

"Said what?"

"That he loves me."

Amelia rolled her eyes. "Oh, come on! He knows what you want to hear and -"  
>"Stop it!", hissed Astoria. "Do you know how long I've been waiting for him to say it? Now he did, and I'm sure that he meant it. I know he does."<p>

"Honey..."

"I'll take care of myself, I promise", said Astoria. "Thank you. For everything you've done for me."  
>Amelia smiled. "You're welcome. If he ever hurts you again – you can always come over. No matter what time it is, you know that, don't you?"<p>

"Thanks", smiled Astoria. "And...he won't hurt me."

xxx

"I'm glad that you're back", smiled Draco when they arrived at their apartment again and looked deep into her eyes.

_If she ever tries to fucking leave again  
>I'mma tie her to the bed<br>And set the house on fire_

xx_x_

**A/N: Yay, the "Love the way you lie"-part is finally fnished :D The lyrics were just perfect for my story! What did you think?**

**Btw, these were actually 3 chapters...but I put them all together in one since they're finished.**

_**Please review! If I get reviews, I'll write another chapter :P I'm desperate to learn what you guys think about my story! **_


	10. I like the way it hurts

**A/N: I'M FREAKING OUT. I've found "Love The Way You Lie Part 2" and I've nearly had a nervous breakdown because the lyrics are just PERFECT for this story!**

**I wrote this whole chapter during one night (!) because I was in the right mood to write depressing stuff. **

**PLEASE READ THE LYRICS. **

**Chapter 10**

"...because I like the way it hurts."

_On the first page of our story_

_the future seems so bright_

_Then this thing turned out so evil_

_I don't know why I am still surprised._

"No!", yelled Astoria when Draco came towards her, ready to beat her again; she ignored her trembling legs. "If you'll hurt me again I swear I'm going to leave you for real, I'm serious!"

Draco stopped right in front of her. "Oh, you will?", he said with an arrogant smirk. "Guess you forgot who's the superior here."

"I can't believe how much you've changed!", yelled Astoria shocked. "There were times when you were _nice _to me and now you've turned into the same asshole you've always been!"

"Watch it", hissed Draco.

Astoria bit her lower lip. "You know, everyone kept telling me that I should leave you and that you'd never change. Especially Amelia, I thought she just didn't know you – but I guess she has been right all the time."

She ignored that he rolled his eyes when she mentioned her best friend and went on: "Don't you remember? You _held_ me all night long after I've received the Dark Mark, we used to talk, damn it we used to be _happy_!"  
>"Things change", hissed Draco. "Deal with it."<p>

"_Deal with it_? That's all you have to say?"

"Oh shut up. You're annoying."

Astoria ignored what he said. "I don't want us to end up like our parents did! An awkward couple who's just together because they have to! If – if I'm so annoying, why don't you just break up with me?"

He came closer. "Do you realize what you've just said?"

"I do."

"I don't think so. You realize that you'd lose your kid if I left you? You should think about what you say to me in the future, otherwise -"

Astoria interrupted him. "Oh, come on. You wouldn't want our kid to grow up without a mother."

"Who says that he wouldn't have one?"

Astoria faltered. "Well, without _his_ mother."  
>"Do you really think he'd remember you? He's not even three years old."<p>

"You wouldn't do that", whispered Astoria.

He smirked. "You think?"

"Fuck, Draco why are you so mean?", whispered Astoria.

xxx

_Even angels have their wicked schemes_

_and you take death to new extremes_

_But you'll always be my hero_

_even though you've lost your mind_

xxx

Their fight had ended by Draco storming out of the room and slamming the door shut.

A few hours later, when it was already dark outside and Scorpius was asleep, Astoria was in the kitchen and made the dishes which hadn't been made in a few days because Draco had fired their house elf in a blind rage a few days ago.

She winced when he suddenly touched her hips; she hadn't heard him coming.

"Hey", said Draco and kissed her neck softly.

Astoria closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "What do you want?"

"You", whispered Draco and came closer, still holding her hips.

Astoria escaped his touch by stepping aside from the sink.

"Come on", smirked Draco. "I don't know how long I'll be here and we haven't done it yet."

"Maybe you should've thought about your _needs_ before you treated me like crap _again_."

Draco sighted. "Look, let's stop the fighting. Except you want to fight to have make-up sex afterward."

"Stop it!", said Astoria in disbelief.

"_You_ stop bitching", said Draco, came towards her and placed his hands onto the pantry so that his wife was cornered.

When he leant forward to kiss her, Astoria felt nauseous. "I can't do this", she said then and turned her head away.

Because Draco didn't make any move, she pushed him away and before he even realized what was happening she ran out of the kitchen, grabbed her handbag and a jacket in the hallway and disappeared in front of the apartment.

xxx

_Just gonna stand there and watch me burn_

_but that's alright because I like the way it hurts_

_Just gonna stand there and hear me cry_

_but that's alright because I love the way you lie_

_I love the way you lie_

xxx

She came home in the middle of the night. "Uh", she sighted when she closed the door behind her. She felt dizzy.

"Where have you been?", she heard a cold voice out of the dark.

Astoria blinked. "Out."

"Oh, really." His voice had been calm but now Draco started yelling. "You're such an irresponsible fool!"

"I can't do this now", said Astoria and leaned back against the wall. "I'm drunk."

"Pathetic", hissed Draco. "_You_ should take care of our son, not go out and get fucking drunk!"

"Oh come on", sighted Astoria, "I've only been gone for a few hours. What about all the times when you are away for _weeks_?"

_Now there's gravel in our voices,_

_glass is shattered from the fight._

_In this tug of war you'll always win_

_even when I'm right._

"That's my job", hissed Draco. "And yours is to raise the baby! What if I told them that you're an irresponsible fool and not able to raise Scorpius? You're freaking lucky that I don't. Because I should!"  
>"You're telling <em>me<em> that I'm a bad mother?", yelled Astoria back. "You know exactly that I never wanted this! I didn't want to have a baby at the age of seventeen, but who cared? You forced me into this!"

"Because it's your fucking duty! Do I really need to remind you of your -"

Astoria interrupted him. "Shut it! I can't hear this crap about _duties _anymore! You may be supposed to be the superior here but here's the news, I'm a human being, I've got freaking _feelings_!"

"Yeah well, who cares."

"_You_ should care! Because I'm pretty sure that contrary to me, you've had a choice! I'm sure that they asked you whether it was okay for you to marry me and you could've said no! _I_ haven't been asked, I was forced into this!"

"What's your point?", asked Draco and crossed his arms in front of his chest.

"My _point_ is that if you think I'm irresponsible and a fool, you shouldn't have agreed to marry me! You shouldn't have forced me into getting your baby and, fuck, the Death Eater crap! My life is _screwed_ and it's your fault!"

_'cause you feed me fables from your hand_

_with violent words and empty threats_

_and it's sick that all these battles_

_are what keeps me satisfied_

At first, Draco just looked at her, stunned by her statement. Then he made a few angry steps forward and his hand hit her cheek hard. _Again_.

_Just gonna stand there and watch me burn_

_but that's alright because I like the way it hurts_

_Just gonna stand there and hear me cry_

_but that's alright because I love the way you lie_

_I love the way you lie_

Astoria's head flew to the side and she touched her hurting cheek with her hand instantly. She remained like that for a while. _No_, she thought then, looked up, brushed the hair out of her face and shoved Draco hard; he hadn't expected her to fight back, so he trembled back against the other wall of the hallway in surprise.

"How dare you", hissed Draco angry and grabbed her by her shoulders. If gazes could kill, Astoria would've been dead instantly.

_So maybe I'm a masochist_

_I try to run but I don't wanna ever leave_

_'til the walls are going up in smoke with all our memories._

xxx

_This morning, you wake, a sunray hits your face_

_smeared makeup as we lay in the wake of destruction_

When Astoria woke up, she felt pain – basically on her whole body. She turned around and saw Draco next to her, his head resting on his arm; he was watching her.

_tell me I'll be sorry that you pushed me_

_into the coffee table last night_

_so I can push you off me _

_try and touch me _

_so I can scream at you not to touch me_

"Get your fucking hands off me!", yelled Astoria, got up and ran out of the room. She ran into Scorpius' bedroom; her yelling at her husband had made her kid wake up.

"It's okay, baby", she whispered, lifted him up in her arms and disappeared with him.

Amelia's jaw dropped when she saw Astoria and Scorpius in front of her apartment. "What the hell happened to you?", she asked then.

"Don't ask", said Astoria. "Can – can you please take him for a few hours?"

Amelia took Scorpius in her arms. "He hit you again, didn't he?"

"Please. Don't ask", repeated Astoria and disappeared.

_baby, without you I'm nothing_

_I'm so lost, hug me_

_then tell me how ugly I am, but that you'll always love me_

When she returned into her apartment, she found Draco standing in the kitchen. When he looked at her, he was shocked.

He hadn't noticed before that she had lost weight, but now he saw how skinny she really was. Well, she had always been skinny but not that thin...

He could see the bruises on her cheek and neck and legs which he had caused last night; there were also some old ones. His wife was wearing a pair of boxer shorts and a hoodie; her hair was kind of a mess.

And her eyes...when he looked into her eyes, he could see how hurt she was. There was something empty in her gaze that scared the hell out of him.

_I did this to her_. He frowned at that thought, went straight towards her and hugged her.

_then after that, shove me_

_in the aftermath of the destructive path we're on_

"Don't touch me", whispered Astoria and pushed him off her.

"Baby", said Draco and looked deep into her eyes.

Astoria shivered; he hadn't called her that in ages.

"I'm sorry you're hurting", he said then.

"You're sorry I'm hurting or you're sorry you hurt me?", snapped Astoria.

_two psychopaths, but we know that_

She knew exactly that she wouldn't get an appropriate apology from her husband but she tried anyway.

When he looked at her, she _knew _that she wouldn't get more than what he had already said. _Pathetic_.

They tried to stare each other down but it didn't work out and finally, after an eternity, Draco leaned forward to kiss her roughly.

_no matter how many knives we put into each other's backs_

_that we'll have each other's backs _

_'cause we're that lucky_

She didn't push him away like she wanted to; Astoria returned the kiss as passionately. When they broke the kiss because they needed air, she looked down on the floor until he lifted her chin with his hand and made her look at him.

She did, but then she rolled her eyes and stepped away from him to lean against the kitchen pantry. "I can't do this anymore", she said without looking at him.

"It's what we do", replied Draco.

_you hit me twice, yeah but who's countin'_

_I may have hit you three times, _

_I'm staring to lose count_

"This is just crazy! You hurt me, then I fail at hurting you because you're too fucking strong and then we make up after while just to start another fight the next day!"

"Maybe you should stop being fucking bitchy all the time."

"You're blaming _me_ for our fights?", said Astoria in disbelief. "_You're_ the one that gets angry because of every crappy little thing you don't like and you're the one who got used to _hit_ me!"

_our love is crazy, we're nuts_

_but I refused counselin'_

"They say", continued Astoria, "that once your husband started hurting you, he'll never stop."

"Fuck what they say!", replied Draco annoyed. "They don't know us. And by the way, if you hadn't shoved me I wouldn't have needed to hurt you more than I already had."

"Oh, so this is my fault?", yelled Astoria and pointed at her bruises.

Draco shrugged. "Baby", he said then in a voice that scared her, "you know what happens if you leave."

_this house is too huge, if you move I'll burn_

_all two thousand square feet of it to the ground_

_ain't shit you can do about it_

_with you I'm in my fucking mind, without you, I'm out it!_

She swallowed hard. "Screw you", she whispered then but her voice showed that she wasn't that serious.

And when he came closer and looked into her eyes, he reminded her once more of all the reasons why she could never leave him no matter how hard she wished she could. He didn't even need to say something, just by looking in each other's eyes they were locked, stuck together; forever.

And when he kissed her again, they both felt the familiar desire for each other which never got old, which they felt every time they were close and which would never fade away.

Because they loved each other.

Astoria let him lift her onto the pantry and wrapped her legs around him. Everything was familiar; the anger was gone for now and they made up with sex like they always did...just to start a new fight soon. But she didn't care anymore.

_Just gonna stand there and watch me burn_

_but that's alright because I like the way it hurts_

_Just gonna stand there and hear me cry_

_but that's alright because I love the way you lie_

_I love the way you lie_


	11. Bring me to life

**Chapter 11**

"Bring me to life"

_Wake me up inside_

_Call my name and save me from the dark_

_Bid my blood to run (I can't wake up)_

_before I come undone (Save me)_

_Save me from the nothing I've become_

Astoria was lying in bed and tried to fall asleep when Draco entered their flat and crawled with his clothes into the bed right behind her.

"Hey", said Draco and kissed her neck.

"Hey", replied Astoria sleepy. "You okay?"

"Hm", groaned Draco. "Except...I'll have to leave tomorrow for about one month."

"What?", asked Astoria, suddenly wide awake and turned half around so that she was laying on her back.  
>Draco, who lay on his side and rested his head on one hand, shrugged. "His order."<p>

Astoria looked desperately at him. She didn't want him to go... "I'll miss you", she said then and leaned forward to kiss him.

The passion with which she kissed him surprised him but he responded the kiss instantly.

"Me, too", whispered Draco with a husky voice and came on top of her, pushing her legs softly apart with his body.

A single tear fell down Astoria's cheek when she felt him so close on top of her while he kissed her neck.

"I left Scorpius at my parents'", said Draco, "just in case you want to spend the night in a way we'll certainly remember during the time I'm gone."

Astoria chuckled underneath him and kissed him with desire in response.

He sent chills down her spine when he undressed her, completely controlled in his actions and knowing exactly what he was doing but still rough and quick.

It didn't last long until she had managed to get the shirt off him and she was busy removing his belt and opening his trousers when he pulled on her underwear.

"Already wet for me?", grinned Draco when he reached between her legs to check whether she was ready to take him.

"Always", breathed Astoria.

He looked deep into her eyes when he guided himself towards her entrance and watched with satisfaction how she threw her head back and moaned when he entered into her with one forceful thrust.

He knew exactly how to touch her at the right spots and his position allowed him to enter deep inside of her and it didn't last long until he had her clutching her hands into the sheets and moaning his name while she climaxed; he followed quick after because he didn't have to hold back any longer.

"That was just the foreplay", grinned Draco when he fell into the sheets beside her.

xxx

"Draco?"

Astoria called his names out a few times when she woke up in the morning and recognized that she was alone.

Anger rushed through her when she didn't hear a response. Did he really leave without saying goodbye after they had spent the whole night with sex? After she had been on her hands and knees for him and had done all the things she knew he liked the most?

"Hey sleepy."

She sat up in a shock when he suddenly stood in the middle of their bedroom.

"Where do you come from?", she snapped a little bit too harsh.

"Bathroom", replied Draco and raised an eyebrow at her reaction. Fortunately, he wasn't in the mood for a fight.

"I thought you were gone", pouted Astoria and let herself fall back into the pillows.

He grinned. "I wouldn't go without saying goodbye, would I?"

Astoria didn't respond because he came towards her, leaned down and kissed her.

"When do you have to leave?", she asked then.

Draco looked at his watch. "Less than half an hour."

"Then we'll have to do it quick", chuckled Astoria and pulled him towards her by pulling at his tie.

He looked at her in disbelief but he didn't stop her from kissing him deep. "I just took a shower", he said then, took her face in his hands and looked at her like he was saying that he was sorry.

"I won't leave a mess", grinned Astoria and pushed the sheets which had been covering her aside.

Draco looked at her naked body and his decision was made. "You're an evil bitch", he groaned and came on top of her, placing his hands on her hips to hold her in place.

Astoria ignored his comment; he had called her far worse things last night and she didn't care – in fact, it turned her on.

He didn't care to undress himself – it had to be quick and it was enough to open his trousers to free his already hard cock.

They both enjoyed their last intimate contact for about one month and, Astoria thought, maybe forever – but she pushed that ugly thought away and focused on her husband moving on top of her. Her hips met his thrusts as they moved together, moans and heavy breaths filled the room and they came almost together.

Draco didn't pull out instantly; they both enjoyed the feeling of the aftermath of the orgasm and being close to each other. He knew that he'd break their intimacy as soon as he'd pull out, get up and zip his trousers.  
>Yet still, he did because he didn't have much time left.<p>

When he kissed her one last time, Astoria whispered: "I love you."

Draco said it back because it would've been cruel not to; he wasn't sure whether he meant it. Probably he did.

xxx

After he had left, Astoria lay on the bed for a while, wrapped the messy sheets around her body and cried into the pillows. She was always so damn afraid when he was gone – when they said goodbye, she was always afraid that this could be the last time she ever saw him. And she knew that she wouldn't survive losing him...losing him at all _and_ losing him to that damn unimportant thing he'd die for...some cruel mission which had come out of the mind of an insane monster.

But she pulled herself back together after a while, got up and took a shower. He had always come back, why shouldn't he this time?

_Now that I know what I'm without you_

_you can't just leave me_

xxx

At noon, Astoria decided that she should pick her son up from her parents in-law because her husband hadn't said anything about when she was supposed to pick him up.

She dressed into a simple black dress (she was about to visit the Malfoys, after all), wrapped herself in a black coat and Disapperated in front of the apartment.

She walked the short distance over the Malfoy Grounds over to the Manor because nobody was able to Apperate inside of the house. When she wanted to push the door open like she was used to, she was shocked that it didn't work out. _What the hell?_, thought Astoria because since she was married to Draco, she had been included in the spell which lay upon the Manor – she had _always_ been able to enter without permission. Why would they change that? Because she didn't live there anymore? No, she was pretty sure that Draco could still walk in and out like he wanted to...

Because she didn't have any other option, she rang the doorbell. The huge wooden door was opened soon by a house elf.

"I need to speak to Mr & Mrs Malfoy", demanded Astoria, "I'm here to pick up Scorpius."

"The Master told me to tell you that you can pick him up at eight o'clock tonight", said the house elf in a high voice.

Astoria raised an eyebrow at him. "Why? Can you at least tell them that I'm here?"  
>"I'm sorry", whispered the elf and slammed the door shut.<p>

Astoria was confused but she didn't care that much when she walked back down to the street – maybe they just wanted to spend time with their grandchild, the freaking _Malfoy heir_. It was okay with her – so she'd have some time to be on her own.

xxx

The _time on her own_ became boring after two hours because she had cleaned up the kitchen, done the laundry (since they hadn't got an house elf anymore) and smoked some cigarettes. She thought about visiting Amelia but then she remembered that today was Amelia's mothers birthday and that her best friend was pretty sure at her parent's house right now where Astoria didn't want to go. She knew her best friend's parents very well because she had been there many times and they sucked as much as her own parents.

She sighted. She wasn't used to spending time alone since she was normally always busy watching their kid or fighting with Draco or spending some of her rare free-time with her best friend. She couldn't even remember the last time she had actually been alone...

Still six hours were left until she could go over to the Malfoy Manor again. Astoria sighted and decided to sleep because she hadn't got anything to do and because she hadn't slept that much last night.

xxx

At eight o'clock, she rang the doorbell of the Malfoy Manor and was surprised that Narcissa Malfoy herself opened the door.

"Good evening", said Astoria politely.

"Good evening, Astoria", responded Narcissa. "Come in. We've prepared dinner."

Astoria smiled and followed her mother-in-law to the dining room where she stopped in shock – among with Lucius Malfoy, whom she had expected, sat her parents.

_Fuck_, she thought. This couldn't be good.

"Good evening", she said after she had pulled herself together to keep her outer appearance (especially her facial expressions) as normal as possible. The last conversation she had had with her father hadn't been good, at all; he had practically abandoned her...

Everyone in the room greeted her icily back as she sat down at the large dinner table where the dinner was instantly served.

Astoria was the one to break the silence. "Where's Scorpius?"

"Upstairs. He's asleep", said Narcissa Malfoy with a soft smile.

Astoria nodded and continued eating the food. The atmosphere was very strange because nobody talked – they all just sat there and ate the delicious and obviously expensive dinner. She started to ask herself why the fuck her parents were here since they obviously didn't have anything to say to her...

After they've finished dinner, Astoria focused on drinking some of the expensive wine in front of her. Maybe she drank too much for her parents liking but she didn't know what else to do.  
>Then, suddenly, her father cleared his throat and started a lecture about the responsibilities and duties of a Pureblood wife. Astoria didn't listen and focused on not rolling her eyes because that would've been rude.<p>

After Mr Greengrass had finished with the sentence "...and that's what we've raised our daughter to be", everyone except Astoria agreed.

Yeah, they had told her daily or at least weekly about her fucking duties as a Pureblood wife – basically some crap about that her future husband would kind of _own_ her, that she was inferior to men and that it was her duty to do everything her _superiors_ said and that she had to be an obedient wife and get her husband's babies and so on. She had never believed in that crap. Contrary to her sister, she didn't look up to her parent – she never had. Sure, she had followed her father's order to marry Draco but just because she had known exactly that Rallan Greengrass had got his methods of forcing her into it and she hadn't wanted to provoke him into proving that he had the power over her. And now, although she hated the fact that her father had done this, she thought that the marriage was one of the best things that had ever happened to her. Even though she and Draco fought a lot and even though he had changed a lot since the Dark Lord had become more powerful than ever, she loved him and they cared about each other.

Her mother pulled her out of her thoughts by nudging her with an elbow.

"What?", asked Astoria.

"I just said", said her father with a very cool and distant voice, "that I've heard that you and Draco had got some difficulties in the past months."

"Oh, that's what this is about", replied Astoria and finally let go and rolled her eyes.

"Astoria", hissed her father.

"Sorry, but this is ridiculous", said Astoria. "That's our business."

"We're just afraid", said Lucius Malfoy, "that it could affect Scorpius."

"It doesn't", said Astoria instantly. She felt that her heart beat went faster while she thought she knew what this was about, this whole family dinner thing – they wanted to keep Scorpius... "He's just fine", she added then.

"Yeah, I noticed that today", said Narcissa Malfoy with a smile.

Astoria turned her head to look at her – she would've never thought that Draco's Mum would kind of defend her...well, maybe because she understood the situation her daughter-in-law was currently in.

"Anyway", continues Mr Greengrass, "we'll check on him as long as Draco is gone."

Astoria knew that this was the only chance she would get this evening to bring her child home, even if it meant that one of those people would visit her daily. "Fine", she said, "but believe me, it's not necessary."

"We decide what's necessary and what not", hissed her father.  
>At that moment, Astoria was glad that they were at the Malfoy Manor because if Lucius and Narcissa hadn't been there she was pretty sure that her father would've punished her. But she didn't care that much about her father anymore – he was just a violent bastard who hadn't got that much power over her anymore...well, at least she wanted to think about him that way. In fact, she was beyond angry that he had never been a <em>father<em> to her. Although...which damn Pureblood man was that to his children.

When she came home in the evening, she took the sleeping Scorpius in her bed with him. After being afraid of losing him earlier, she was now glad to have him as close as possible. Although she had actually never wanted to give birth to a baby at the age of seventeen, she was now glad that she had got Scorpius because she loved him and because she wasn't lonely with him around.

xxx

Two weeks later, a few visits from her father or her mother lay past her. Every time her father had visited her, he hadn't said much – just made sure that the baby was okay.

But when her doorbell rang this evening, it wasn't one of her parents as she had expected: it was Lucius Malfoy.

"Oh, hello", she greeted him stunned. She wasn't prepared for his visit which was obvious because she was dressed in casual and comfortable clothes.

"Good evening", said Malfoy and walked into the flat and into Scorpius' room. After he had made sure that the _heir_ was okay, he turned around to leave.

"Have you heard something from Draco?", asked Astoria. "Because I didn't. It's been two weeks and..."

"No", replied Lucius. "Good-bye."  
>"Bye", said Astoria and let herself slide down to the floor along of the wooden door frame against which she had been leaning. She took her head in her hands and closed her eyes for a moment, trying not to cry in front of her child.<p>

xxx

Draco recognized that it had now been two weeks since he had left from home. He was sitting in a bar in a small town in the middle of nowhere. He didn't understand why he wasn't allowed to Apperate home on his free evenings but he just wasn't and so he spent the night in cheap bars with cheap liquid.

When a beautiful woman sat down beside him while he drowned his firewhisky, he was at first attracted to her because she was nice to look at, she had got big boobs and he hadn't fucked since two weeks plus she was obviously hitting on him.

But then, when he took a closer look at the girl next to him, Astoria suddenly flashed through his mind. He suddenly thought that the skin of the girl next to him wouldn't feel as good as Astoria's did, that the girl wouldn't wriggle underneath him and moan his name as his wife did and that the fuck he could have would not be as satisfying as he wished it would be. So he just left the girl sitting at the bar, payed for his drinks and left alone.

When he stood outside and inhaled the cool air, he wondered what had changed him. A few years – or even a few months – ago he would've happily accepted the fuck that girl had offered him. But he just couldn't stop thinking about Astoria...he suddenly noticed that he missed her. And when he went to bed that night, he couldn't stop thinking about her lying in their bed all alone, probably crying because she missed him...and probably wondering whether he was unfaithful. He wished he could take that worry away from her...

_Wake me up inside_

_Call my name and save me from the dark_


	12. She's Gone

_**Chapter 12**_

"She's gone"

Amelia was woken up by a hard knock at her door in the middle of the night. She groaned, got up from her bed and left Blaise alone who was still asleep, went downstairs and opened the door.

Her jaw dropped instantly. "Oh my god!", was all she could say.

Her best friend Astoria was standing in front of her. She had bleeding cut on her left cheek, her eyes looked empty and she was carrying her baby in her arms...well, actually she was pressing Scorpius tightly to her chest as if she was afraid that he'd slip away from her any moment. "What the hell happened to you?"

"I don't have time to explain", said Astoria, "because in a few minutes, they're going to start searching me and they're definitely going to start here because they know that you're the first one I go to when I'm in trouble. So, I just have one question for you. Are you going to come with me?"

Amelia was shocked. "I don't understand."

"Remember?", said Astoria. She was speaking a little bit too quick because she was obviously in a hurry. "Remember when you asked me to disappear with you? Start a new life somewhere, away from our crazy families and away from everything? I know that I disappointed you back then but now is the right time for your plan. I've been wrong, it was a plan, a good plan, and now I want to do it! So I'm asking you: you in?"

"I – why? I mean, you had got reasons back then and -"

"I don't have time to argue!", yelled Astoria desperate. "Yes or no, in or out. I need your choice and I need it right now."

"Look", started Amelia, "I -"

Astoria interrupted her. "So you're out, then. Fine. I have to go." She lowered her voice and her tone became nice. "I love you. Whatever happens, remember that you're the person who means the most to me. I love you."

Amelia held her best friend back at her arm. "Wait", she said, "where are you going?"

"I can't tell you. If I did, they'd find out that you know and they'd torture you until you tell them."

"I won't tell anyone, I swear, just tell me -"

"No!", said Astoria. "You wouldn't want to, but they'd make you. Look, I'm already late, they'll come here in a few seconds to check wether I'm here. So, be prepared."

Amelia sighted. There was nothing left for her to do. "I love you", was all she said.

The two girls looked at each other before Astoria turned around and Disappearated.

It took only a few seconds after Astoria was gone for four Death Eaters to arrive in front of Amelia's door right at the spot where Astoria had been only seconds before.

"Where is she?", yelled Draco Malfoy, pushed Amelia aside and stormed along with his mother and Bellatrix Lestrange into the apartment.

Amelia cried out in pain when she was pushed against the wall by Lucius Malfoy who was pointing his wand painfully right at her throat.

She closed her eyes and screamed out in pain when she felt him entering into her mind. There was nothing she could do about it and at that point, she realized that Astoria had been right about not telling her where she was going.

After Malfoy had finished reading her mind, he released his grip on her and because the pressure went away that sudden, Amelia couldn't help it but fall down onto the floor.

"She's not here", said an upset Draco who came downstairs along with his mother, his aunt and Blaise.

Without any other word, the four people left the apartment without caring to close the door behind them.

xxx

Astoria was sitting on the bed of a cheap Muggle Hotel in London and tried to get her son to sleep.

She needed a place to stay; any magical place was too unsafe and she was pretty sure that the Death Eaters wouldn't start searching in a Muggle Place – at least not during the first night of her absence.

She hadn't had any Muggle money so she had simply used the Imperius Curse to stop the Hotel owner from demanding money. Since the Unforgivables were legal, she didn't have anything to fear because she had used it.

"Shht", she whispered, "it's okay, baby. Everything's fine. Just sleep."

She didn't know wether Scorpius could feel that she was lying. But after some more soft words, he finally fell asleep.

Astoria sighted and got up from the bed to look outside the window. If it had been for her, she wouldn't have stayed at his creepy place – she knew that she wouldn't get any sleep that night, anyway. But she had to take care of her son and she wanted to guarantee him at least a bed and some sleep.

Astoria checked one last time on her sleeping son before she entered the bathroom. She hadn't looked at her injuries yet. But even the large, bloody cut on her cheek couldn't shock her anymore – she was so shocked and under pressure and stress that she hadn't even cried yet, at all (which she normally used to do).

She just took some toilet paper, put water on it until it was wet and cleaned the cut as good as she was able to. She could've fixed it with a simple spell but she had neither used that spell ever in her life and she didn't want to ruin her face forever nor was she sure wether the Death Eaters were able to find her if she used any more magic inside of this Muggle building. They had already invaded the Ministry of Magic decades ago and she was pretty sure that the Ministry had its ways of detecting magic in Muggle buildings; the Imperius Curse she had used early had already been a risk...

Astoria didn't even feel the pain of the cut as she cleaned it. She didn't feel anything...not pain, not anger, not guilt...nothing.

_**Three Hours Earlier**_

Draco slowly opened the door when he came home in the evening. He had been to a bar to drown his anger but then some bastard had started a fight which had been a bad idea because nobody started a fight with Draco Malfoy and survived.

Draco knew that he should be satisfied – his one-month-mission was complete, the business was going well and brought in more money than it had before, some Muggles had been killed and he had recently killed a person who had been stupid enough to start a fight with him. But somehow, he wasn't satified, at all. Something deep inside of him was restless and made him nauseous.

When he entered the kitchen, he saw his wife making the dishes.

"Hey", said Astoria but she didn't turn around. "How was your evening?"

"How dare you", hissed Draco, "how dare you continue to make the fucking dishes when you speak to me?"

He grabbed her hard and spun her around so that she was facing him.

"What's wrong with you?", asked Astoria shocked. "What happened?"

"None of your business!", yelled Draco and made a few steps away from her.

Astoria, who was still shocked by his action, remained silent. She didn't want to start another fight, another restless night...but she kind of knew that it was going to be just like that. She could tell from the way her husband looked at her that he was in the mood to fight...to fight nasty.

"What happened?", repeated Astoria softly after a while.

"Just go on making the fucking dishes", said Draco, "that's what you're good enough for."

Astoria's jaw dropped but she tried to remain calm. "You know, it's not my fault that you fired the house elf and that you haven't brought a new one yet", she said.

"Why should I? You seem to enjoy the work, so why don't you just go on doing the dirty crap while I focus on more important things", he said in an insulting voice.

"Stop it!", said Astoria. "Stop trying to make _me_ feel bad to make _you_ feel better!"

"Don't tell me what to do!", yelled Draco.

Astoria's voice remained calm but it was trembling a bit as she spoke. "Calm down", she said. "You'll wake Scorpius up. And besides, I'm just trying to help you."

"Then stop helping! It's something you're not capable of! You're making me sick with your whole freaking attitude!"

Astoria swallowed hard and tried to hold back her tears but Draco just went on yelling. "Look at you! You're just a pathetic excuse for a wife!"

"Fuck", said Astoria, "you know what? _You_'re the one who's pathetic! You can't handle stress, you can't handle anger, you don't seem to be able to handle anything important!"

She knew that she shouldn't have said that as soon as the back of his hand hit her left cheek hard. When she felt the pain and she saw blood dripping onto the floor, she noticed that he was wearing his Malfoy Family Ring on the hand with which he had just hit her.

Astoria just stood there and watched him watching her pain. She looked into his eyes one more time before she went out of the kitchen.

At first, Draco didn't care. He sat down at the table and stared with an empty look at the wall...but when he heard the front door being slammed shut, he jumped up from his seat and ran into Scorpius' bedroom to find out that the baby wasn't there.

"Bitch!", he yelled while he checked every room for his wife and his son, although deep down he knew that they were gone. "Fucking bitch!"

xxx

It had been two weeks since Astoria had left Draco. She hadn't been discovered yet and she hadn't cried yet. Everything was well.

Except...she felt empty. And she wasn't sure wether she was taking really good care of Scorpius...he seemed to be ok but this whole thing, sleeping each night in another Muggle Hotel, couldn't be good for him...plus she hadn't really thought about her actions yet. But she was pretty sure about to be killed as soon as they found her. Because she had done things she should never have done, things that were unacceptable in this society..._disloyal_ things, _immature_ things. What if Scorpius grew up without his mother just because she had screwed everything up? Even if she would be able to hide, they'd find her at some point. They'd figure a way out to find her...through a fault she'd make, through the bonding between them and Scorpius,...

She had learned to fight at an early age, had tought herself to fight against her family, against the school rules, against everyone who had been in her way...but she couldn't win this fight. Not this one...because her enemies were too strong. What had she been thinking? _What did I do...what the __hell did I do..._

Maybe it were those doubts which made Astoria being less careful than she normally was. She was sitting on a playground on a swing and pressed Scorpius close to her as she swung lightly back and forth.

She held him even tighter when she saw familiar people coming towards her from all the directions around her. She could have Disappeararted, she could've tried to fight them...but she didn't. She closed her eyes, hugged her son tighter and pressed a kiss on the top of his head and waited. Waited for them to pull her son away from her and waited for the green light to hit her.

**To be continued...**

**A/N: How about a review? Takes a second, means a lot :)**


	13. You still have all of me

**Chapter 13**

"You still have all of me"

Draco felt like everything happened in slow-motion as he walked towards Astoria and Scorpius. It felt damn unreal to walk towards her along with his parents, his aunt and a few other Death Eaters...

He had expected her to jump to her feet and run far away or at least to get up and try to fight them which would've been pointless...but she didn't. Contrary to every expectation, she held the little blond boy close to her chest and closed her eyes.

_She closed her eyes. _

Bellatrix was the first one to approach his wife and the first thing she did was tearing Scorpius away from her, then she lifted him up in her arms and disappeared. Astoria hadn't opened her eyes yet.

xxx

Astoria's eyes flew suddenly open when she felt that she was roughly pulled to her feet, held tightly and forced to Disapparate with a strong person.

The green light hadn't hit her.

Not yet.

She needed a moment to process the fact that she was still alive and breathing but they didn't give her that moment. As soon as they arrived at the Malfoy Manor, which seemed to be way scarier than it had been before, she was pulled downstairs by her kidnapper, who seemed to be Lucius Malfoy, and pushed inside of the jail she had discovered some years ago. Malfoy took her wand away from her, slammed the iron bars shut and stormed upstairs.

Astoria leaned back against the cold stone wall, closed her eyes and tried to breathe normally and let herself fall onto the floor into a sitting position. She wasn't sure wether it was her imagination or the reality but she heard people screaming at each other, yelling in a fight which was obviously about her – about what they planed to do to her.

Couldn't they kill her already?

Astoria didn't know how much time had passed when she heard footsteps on the stairs. Even when the iron bars were opened by a random Death Eater, she didn't get up.

"Get your fucking ass upstairs!", commanded the man she had barely ever seen.

At first, she wasn't sure whether she should obey or not, but she decided to do what she was told to, got up and went the small distance through the jail until she approached the man.

"Such a waste", hissed the man and looked at her with lusty eyes.

Astoria gave him an evil look which caused him to grab her hard and pull her upstairs with him.

As soon as they arrived at the Entrance Hall, she could her the people yelling at each other in an other room.

"This is not your decision!", yelled Lucius Malfoy.

Astoria rolled her eyes before the Death Eater pushed her inside of the Dining Hall where the whole Malfoy family was standing.

"Let's do it", said Narcissa Malfoy with a calm voice. "Let's give them a moment."

"We'll deal with you later", hissed Lucius Malfoy when he walked past Astoria as everyone except Draco left the room.

Astoria just stood there and leaned back against the closed door. She expected Draco to yell at her but he didn't say a word.

Draco had had in mind to yell at his wife, to beat the crap out of her and to tell her that she had screwed up in every possible way – but when he saw her, he just couldn't.

He stared at her. It had only been two weeks since he had seen her the last time but now it seemed like it had been an eternity. Her facial expression didn't tell him anything, her eyes weren't filled with tears but clear and her gaze was empty...she didn't seem to have any emotions, at all. He had expected her to cry, to apologize – damn, he had expected her to show him _anything_. But she didn't.

"What the hell did you do?", he asked finally. His voice was calmer than Astoria had expected it to be.

"What do you want from me?", asked Astoria back. Her tone showed that she was annoyed.

"An explanation!", yelled Draco. Now he was able to yell.

Astoria lifted an eyebrow. "Seriously? Is that why you haven't killed me yet, because you want a freaking _explanation_?"

Draco looked at her in disbelief. "Nobody plans on killing you. Well, my aunt does but this isn't her decision."

Astoria just nodded.

"Are you – disappointed?", asked Draco. This whole conversation went totally different from what he had expected but he needed to know this.

"Hell yes!", yelled Astoria. "I accepted that I've got nothing to lose, that's why I gave up."

"_Nothing to lose_? Are you out of your mind?"

"It's how it is! They'll take Scorpius away from me in any case, you don't care about me anyway and Amelia – well, I already told her that I love her. Nobody else matters."

Draco stared horrified at her because there was nothing he could possibly say. He suddenly felt compassion for her because she was so sad that she didn't even recognize her sadness. Without thinking about it, he walked towards her and pointed his hand out to caress her cheek but Astoria slapped his hand away.

"Don't you dare touch me", she hissed then. "Better explain to me what's happening? Why hasn't the Dark Lord arrived yet? I thought this would be important enough for him. If you don't make the decision to kill me – well I'm sure he will."

"Stop talking about this dying shit!", said Draco and he sounded way more desperate than he wanted to. "They haven't told him because then, they'd admit that – in their opinion – they have screwed up! _They_ picked you out of all the rich, Pureblood women to be my wife, _they_ told him you'd be worth it and that you'd never screw up because the Greengrass' educated you oh so well! If they told him what happened – that you _left_ me and _kidnapped_ our son – the Dark Lord would question their judgment and that's something they want to avoid so badly that they decided to do it on their own, even if that means that they'll fight for weeks."

"To do _what_ on their own? And besides, I didn't _kidnap_ him. He's my child just as he's yours", stated Astoria.

"Granted", said Draco, "and well, they're trying to decide what to do to you. I'll tell them to let you go but I don't know how much I can do...it's my fault, I informed them that you were gone, I shouldn't have told them because now they know and they're going to demand judgment...at least my father and my aunt."

"Why?", said Astoria.

"You know them, they -"

She interrupted him. "No, why do you want to help me?"

Draco turned around. She couldn't see his face but she knew that he was trying to push something aside he wanted to say...obviously, that didn't work because he turned around to face her again and said: "Because I love you."

This was the first time Astoria knew for certain that he _meant_ it. All the defenses she had wanted to throw at him, all the accusations and insults...suddenly, she couldn't remember one of them.

Draco could tell by the way she looked at him that she had finally given up fighting him. He closed the distance between them and kissed her like he had never kissed her before. Astoria didn't even try to push him away – quite the contrary, she responded his kiss as passionately as she was able to and she enjoyed every second of finally being close to him again. During the two weeks she had tried to block the fact that she had left the love of her life out but now she realized that she could never leave him. She had tried to but maybe she had given up not only because she knew that she was going to lose anyway but also because she loved him more than she had ever loved anyone. Although she hated him for his arrogance, his attitudes and the way he treated her...her love for him was way stronger than that.

When they broke apart from the kiss, he murmured: "You're freaking me out, you know that?"

Astoria couldn't help it but smile. "I bet not as much as _you _freak _me _out."

"I don't. I'm the perfect husband", said Draco with a cocky smirk.

"Especially when you hit me with your freaking family ring", said Astoria sarcastically but she was still smiling.

Draco leaned in closer so that their faces were only inches away from each other. "Sorry about that", he whispered before he kissed her again.

The tension between them became stronger within every second. Draco lifted her slightly up and pushed her up against the closed door with his body while Astoria wrapped her legs instinctively around his waist which made her feel his erection instantly. As Draco lowered his head and sucked on her neck, Astoria moaned in pleasure and wrapped her arms around his neck as if she never wanted to let him go again.

They were suddenly forced to go apart when the door was slammed open which caused Draco to stumble backwards and Astoria to fall pathetically down onto the floor. When she looked up, she could she the whole Malfoy family staring at her...crap, she had completely forgotten about them. The way Lucius Malfoy looked at her told her that she was in big trouble...

He pulled her to her feet and grabbed her wrist so hard she thought it might break. "Don't you dare seduce my son again", hissed the man.

"She didn't", said Draco. Now everyone was looking at him. "We talked, we figured things out and it's okay now. She knows that her behavior was wrong and, by the way, I gave her every reason to go."

The stunned way his parents looked at him was nothing compared to Astoria's state of shock. The surprised look in her eyes nearly made Draco laugh – she was damn cute.

Lucius Malfoy let go of Astoria's wrist and payed attention to his son. "And what reason would that be?", he hissed threatening.

Draco swallowed hard before he looked into his father's face. "I hit her."

Lucius burst out in a dry laugh but before he could say whatever he had intended to say, Bellatrix entered the room and came alarming close to Astoria. "I'm sure the little bitch deserved it", she said in a scary, low voice.

Astoria was scared of Bellatrix being so close to her but she forced herself to be strong and didn't move an inch.

xxx

"This is just _great_", complained Astoria when they went upstairs towards Draco's old bedroom. The Malfoys had agreed not to punish Astoria because Draco had insisted that they shouldn't and his mother had listened to him, but the family had also told them that they'd have to stay at the Malfoy Manor for a while so that they could watch them.

"_You_ got us into this", hissed Draco and let himself fall onto the bed. Although he hadn't been here in a while, everything seemed familiar - but not in a good way.

Astoria wanted to respond but she didn't because she didn't know what to say. He was right, this was her fault...

"I'm sorry", she whispered then while she stood awkwardly in the room. She had sworn to herself that she wouldn't apologize because, hello, this was obviously his fault – if he hadn't hit her in his drunk rage, she wouldn't have left him. But yet still, she had just disappeared instead of staying and working it out...plus she felt like he needed her apologize to calm down.

The opposite happened. He got up from the bed, grabbed her wrists hard and slammed her back against the wall. "You're sorry?", he yelled.

"You're hurting me", said Astoria. "Let me _go_."

Draco looked at her with a gaze which was filled with anger but the way she looked back at him made his aggression melt. He released the hard grip on her wrists, placed his hands on her hip and her neck and kissed her.

Astoria didn't return the kiss. Not this time...although she had every reason to try to satisfy his needs, to do everything he asked for, to show him how sorry she was...but she didn't because he had hurt her _again_.

She walked straight through the room, towards the door and into the bathroom on the hallway. She stayed in there with a locked door until she was sure that Draco wouldn't come after her anymore. Then she went to her old room on the other side of the hallway where she had stayed when they had lived at the Manor in the beginning of their marriage. She didn't get any sleep that night because her mind didn't shut up. _What the hell did I do_? Draco had saved her ass and she had rejected him? Ran away from him _again_?

Yeah, because he had hurt her. But he had got every reason to, didn't he? No. She had apologized and he had hurt her anyway. He needed to control his anger...

And she needed to control her instinct to run away when things got complicated, right?

He had said that he loved her and he meant it...he had done everything for her, saved her from his family, and she had disappeared again. He was right, she was a terrible wife..

But what kind of terrible husband was _he_? He took her for granted and thought that he could anything to her without having to deal with any consequences because he was a _Malfoy_...well, at least she had shown him that he hadn't got a free-pass to treat her like crap. Hopefully, her two-week-disappearance would make him think twice about it before he hit her again...but would he ever do that? Would he ever change, for _her_?

Why was she still trying? Was this whole crap worth it?

_**xxx**_

"So that's it?", asked Amelia confused. "You just made up?"  
>Astoria nodded and stretched out on her bed. "Uh-huh."<p>

They were hanging out in the apartment because Draco wouldn't be home all day and Scorpius was at the Malfoy Manor.

"Come on", said Amelia, "don't tell me that you've just made up after you've literally disappeared - _left him_ - and rejected him after he had saved you from his family? And why the hell are you here again, didn't they tell you to stay at the Manor?"  
>"We did stay there for a few days", replied Astoria.<p>

"What happened?", insisted Amelia. "Why don't you tell me what happened?"

"Already told ya."

"Come on!", said Amelia desperate. "You know that you can tell me everything! I'm your soul-mate, remember?"  
>"This is not about whom I secretly snogged in a broom closet!", snapped Astoria.<p>

"So there _is_ something."  
>"Fuck, yes. Satisfied?"<p>

"Not until you tell me."  
>Astoria rolled her eyes. "No. Because we'll end up fighting and I don't want that."<br>"We already are."

Astoria looked up and faced her best friend who was lying on the bed beside her. Amelia was looking back at her with her deep, dark eyes...she deserve the truth, didn't she? She was the only one Astoria really trusted...  
>"Unbreakable Vow", murmured Astoria."<p>

"What?" Amelia wasn't sure whether she got that right.

"Unbreakable Vow", repeated Astoria. "They, umm, kinda made me do it. And that...since then, Draco wasn't mad anymore."

"What the hell did you do?", asked Amelia with a scared voice. "What did you swear?"

"That -" Astoria startled. "That I wouldn't run away again."

"What?", screamed Amelia. "Are you out of your fucking mind? You freaking swore that you wouldn't ever leave the asshole? Do – do you realize what you've got yourself into?"

Astoria looked down. She had known that her best friend would react like that...

"Hello?", insisted Amelia. "Why did you do that?"

"I had to!", replied Astoria. "I got myself into trouble and that's how I payed for it! Plus, you know, it's not that different from the marriage because I'm already stuck with him."

Amelia sighted. "Oh fuck. You're _so_ screwed."

Astoria nodded. "Yeah."

xxx

Draco came home short-time after Amelia had left in the evening. "Hey", smiled Astoria when he entered the living room.

He nodded. "Where's Scorpius?"

"At your parent's. Remember? It's Wednesday."

She didn't get an answer. Draco sat down on the couch beside her and kissed her intensely.

Astoria smiled between kisses when he slightly pushed her back into a lying position and came on top of her. When Draco pushed her shirt upwards, he noticed that he could almost grasp around her waist – she had indeed become very skinny...but he pushed that thought away and focused on her neck instead.

Astoria lifted her legs and wrapped them around his hip which made her feel his already hard cock through the fabric against her inner thigh. She kissed him and started to open the buttons of his shirt but he stopped her by grabbing her wrists and pressing them down on the couch above her head.

"Impatient, aren't we?", teased Draco with a husky voice and kissed his wife intensely. "Don't move", he instructed then and released her wrists, unclasped her bra, took his own shirt off, placed a kiss on her flat belly and removed her trousers together with her panties.

Astoria closed her eyes when he lowered his head and moaned when she felt his tongue playing with her clit. She was already soaking wet so he slipped two fingers easily inside of her which made her moan his name.

"Don't stop", she pleaded when she felt that she was close. "Please..."

Draco grinned devilish, removed his fingers from her cunt and stopped everything he had been doing to come on top of her again. "Impatient...", he teased.

"Ugh you're evil", pouted Astoria and refused to kiss him until he grabbed her neck and made her kiss him. She felt him wince lightly when she started to massaged his cock through his trousers.

"Who's impatient now?", she grinned and opened his belt followed by the button and the zipper of his trousers. She could feel her husband's hot breath against her neck when she slipped her hand into his boxer shorts...but it only took a few seconds until he took over control again. He pushed his remaining clothes off and guided himself towards her waiting entrance. Astoria moaned when he pushed his cock inside of her and she wrapped her legs around his waist again. Draco thrusted hard into her and it didn't take long until he had her tightening around him and screaming out his name in pleasure. After he had had his orgasm, too he got up and left to take a shower, leaving his shaking and trembling wife behind in the living room.

xxx

The next morning, Astoria joined Draco for breakfast in the kitchen. "Can I talk to you about something?", she said and sat down at the table.

He shrugged and lifted an eyebrow at her.

"You know", continued Astoria, "I've always wanted to become a Healer after school. And I know that I'm 20 now and that it's a little late, but...I still want that. Do you think we could get a nanny?"

"Are you serious?", asked Draco annoyed.

"Yes!", replied Astoria. "You know, I'm dying in here. I'm at home all day and since your parents take Scorpius for two days every week and since you found an house elf for us, I'm not busy anymore! Look, I'm bored all day. I'm stuck in here and the only places I can go to are the playground at the park which isn't that entertaining or one of our parent's houses which aren't that bright, either. I love our son and I think that it wouldn't be bad for him if I -"

"I can't believe that motherhood is already boring you", hissed Draco.

"It's not!", stated Astoria. "It's just that I'm bored and lonely and I feel like I need a task or something. I'm not even invited to the meetings anymore!"

"Are you saying that you want to get more tasks than you already have?"

"Basically, yes!"

"Enough!", yelled Draco. "You think it's fun for me to be on missions for _him_ every fucking day? That I wouldn't rather be at home?"

"No, but -"  
>"Don't interrupt me! You're taking everything for <em>granted<em>! You've got one simple task: raising Scorpius. If that's not enough for you than I can't help you. I'm definitely not going to allow you to leave him alone, not to educate him and denying to carry out the Dark Lord's deed _again_!"

"Don't you understand?", pleaded Astoria. "Believe me, I want to raise our son and I'm well aware of the task! All I'm saying is that I need something more, something that makes me feel worthy! What do you think why your parents fucking control me? Because they don't think that I'm responsible and good enough for their heir!"

"Well", replied Draco cool, "you can't blame them, can you?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Everything you've just said is a confirmation that they're damn right."

"Come on!", said Astoria desperate. "Can't you at least try to understand me?"

"I'm done here", hissed Draco, pushed his chair back and stormed out of the apartment.

After he was gone, Astoria sighted and decided to go back to bed because she hadn't got anything better to do; his parents would definitely not bring Scorpius over before noon.

* * *

><p><em>In her dream, she was at Hogwarts.<em> It was the day she always dreamed of: the Battle of Hogwarts.

Astoria rushed through the hallways. She wasn't allowed to be here, she was supposed to be down in the dormitories with the other Slytherins and Amelia, she wasn't supposed to run through the whole school, but she couldn't stop. All those fighting people didn't even seem to recognize her. She ran past people who were throwing spells at each other, avoided flashes of green and red lights, ran past dead bodies on the floor, didn't even bother to hide when she saw explosions and fatal spells – all that mattered at this moment was that she found him. She didn't even know why; it had been one year since she had seen him, since she had talked to him and since she had felt his touch. Probably he'd reject her, push her away or hex her when she got in his way but she had to try...

Suddenly, she was held back and thrown against a wall by two strong arms. Her heart was racing and she thought that it was him, but it was Fenrir Greyback, ready to kill her.

"Get your hands off me! I'm a Slytherin Pureblood, I'm Astoria fucking Greengrass", she yelled.

"Then what are you doing here?", hissed the werewolf.

Astoria didn't have time to say something because the person she had been desperately searching for appeared next to them. Her jaw dropped.

"Let her go", said Draco Malfoy.

Greyback shot him an angry look and went away.

"Draco!", said Astoria desperate, still trembling and leaning against the wall, when he walked away.

He turned around and came towards her again. "I've got no idea what the hell you're doing here, but whatever it is, it's not worth risking your life! Go back to the common room", he said determining. He had become so skinny and there was no life in his eyes, just a cold gaze...she shivered when he took her face in his hands. "I don't have time for this. Just go downstairs, you shouldn't be here."

"Please take care of yourself", whispered Astoria.

He leaned forward and kissed her forehead, closed his eyes for a moment, inhaled her scent...but just for a few seconds. Then he let go and walked away; he didn't need distraction right now, he had to get his freaking wand back.

As soon as he was gone, Astoria couldn't breathe anymore. She tried to suck in air, tried to _breathe_, but she couldn't. Her whole body was shaking and trembling, her legs didn't hold her anymore, she sank down on the dirty floor and tried desperately to catch a breath but her sobs were too heavy...she had probably seen him for the very last time in her life...

Then she woke up, breathing fast and with tears streaming down her face.

_These wounds don't seem to heal_

_This pain is just too real_

_There's just too much that time can not erase_

_When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears_

_When you screamed I'd fight away all of your fears_

_And I held your hand through al of these years_

_But you still have all of me._


	14. I'm going under

**A/N: SORRY for the late update! I've been really, really busy during the last month...I had to deal with some personal problems...but now I'm back and I hope that you like the new chapter :) **

**Reviews would be nice ;) :* **

**Chapter 14**

"I'm going under"

"Hey, bitch."

Astoria sat straight up when she heard her best friend's voice. "Hey yourself!", she laughed and hugged Amelia. "I've missed you."

Amelia grinned and sat down on the couch beside her best friend. "Seems like you missed Tequila, didn't you?", she said and pointed at the liquor on the table.

"Not as much as you did, I guess", smirked Astoria and handed her best friend a glass. "So? How are you? Any news?"

"Well", said Amelia, "Blaise is very annoying but still creative in bed."  
>The two girls bursted out into laughter. They were sitting on a couch in a quiet corner of the Malfoy Manor where Narcissa's birthday party was taking place. They hadn't seen each other in a few weeks because they had both been pretty busy and because their husbands had talked and agreed that the two women weren't good for each other; because of that, Draco and Blaise had literally told their wifes not to see each other anymore. Probably because they were afraid that Amelia and Astoria would notice that they'd be better off without their husbands or because they hated the fact that the two girls had got a way more intense bonding than they'd ever have with the men.<p>

"Our husbands are acting _ridiculous_, don't you think?", said Astoria and drowned her third Tequila.

Amelia nodded and threw her own glass way too hard down on the table. "Yep, agreed. _Beyond_ ridiculous, if you ask me. But Draco is strange, anyway."

"What do you mean, strange?"

"Well." Amelia startled. "I...I saw him with Pansy Parkinson last week...Wednesday I think. And...I checked on them and it looked like they were flirting..."

Astoria's jaw dropped and at first she was too shocked to reply. "No way?", she said then.

Amelia shrugged. "Just saying. _Strange_."

Astoria leaned back and stared in the crowd where Draco was talking to his father. She had just started to trust him, to accept that he didn't mess around with her and that he really loved her...had she been that blinded by his sweet words and his actions? Had she been too naïve to realize that he just needed someone to screw and that he fucked other girls as soon as he got bored or as soon as she annoyed him? Was he really the emotionless, abusive and violent kind of bastard Amelia had always told her he was?

"Look", said Amelia, "even Blaise said that he doesn't know wether Draco is a guy who sticks around or wether he's an ass who fucks around."

"I can't believe this", whispered Astoria. "I – we've been through _so much_ together, I gave him everything! I gave everything up for him and all the time, _all this time_, he was just messing around with me?"

"I don't know", said Amelia and looked deep in her best friend's eyes where she could see how hurt the girl next to her really was. "I just know what I saw. Maybe it isn't what it looked like. Why don't you just test him?"

"And how do you expect me to? I can't, I don't know, let him wait until he gets into my knickers for the first time." Astoria laughed at that thought; or maybe not just at that thought but also about the fact that she had let him into her freaking knickers minutes after they had met for the first time. Maybe she shouldn't have done that. Maybe she should've actually let him wait...

"You could make him wait anyway", replied Amelia. "Like, if he sticks around for one month although the two of you don't have sex...if he sticks around without screwing anyone else and if he's still nice and stuff, then...well you still couldn't be sure. But more sure than you are now."

Astoria raised her eyebrows. "No. No freaking way. Like a _hiatus_?"

"Yeah!", replid Amelia enthusiastically. "Why not?"

"No."

"Why?"

"I – let me think about it, okay?"

Astoria lightened a cigarette and so did Amelia. While they sat there and inhaled the smoke, Astoria didn't really think about what her best friend had suggested; she stared at the floor in front of her while her mind felt empty.

"So?", asked Amelia after a while.

Astoria took a deep breath. "I don't want to do it because there's the possibility that he's an ass. And I want to believe that he's amazing, you know?"

"No."

"I don't want to have the possibility to find out wether he's an ass!"

"But you should", replied Amelia. "Because if he's messing around with you, you should know. You don't want him to make a fool out of you, do you?"  
>"Of course not! But there has to be an other way!"<p>

"And what way would that be?"

"I don't know!", said Astoria, a little bit too harsh and a little bit too loud. She closed her eyes. "Maybe I should just talk to him."  
>"And then?"<p>

"I don't know, tell him how I feel?"  
>"What would be the use of that?", asked Amelia sceptical.<p>

"He has to have _some_ emotions, does he?"

"I'm not so sure about that."

"No, not for me. In general...you know, compassion and stuff."  
>Amelia laughed dryly. "He's a Death Eater, honey! They don't feel anything, if you ask me."<p>

"We are Death Eaters", replied Astoria.

Her statement was scary because she was telling the truth which was shocking for the both of them because they had never seen themselves that way.  
>"Well...a <em>real<em> Death Eater", said Amelia in a very low voice because she didn't want anyone to hear their conversation. "We both know that we're none of _them_."

Astoria nodded. "I know."

They didn't need to exchange any words; they both grabbed their glasses, drowned more Tequila and lightened their cigarettes at the same time.

"So?", asked Amelia then. "Are you going to tell him about the hiatus thing?"  
>"No", replied Astoria.<br>"Why not?"

"I don't want a hiatus."  
>"Why?"<br>"I told you why."  
>"Yeah but I don't get it."<br>"I'm sorry about that."  
>"You're not", said Amelia and they both laughed.<p>

"Excuse me", said Astoria then. "Toilet."

When she had managed to walk through the crowd without looking at Draco, she locked the bathroom door behind her, closed her eyes and tried to breathe. But she was just able to do short, exhausting breaths through which she didn't get any oxygen. Her eyes flew open in a shock, her hands tried to clutch into the wall and she sank down onto the floor, half breathing, half sobbing and trying to get enough oxygen into her burning lungs. When she felt halfway normal again, she closed her eyes once more – this time without causing a panic attack – and let out a desperate sigh.

When she was able to think about anything beside breathing normally, Draco came into her mind instantly. Amelia had of course got a point...especially the _waiting_ thing bothered Astoria. She had always felt guilty and dirty after they had fucked for the first times (back at Hogwarts)...but she hadn't stopped seeing him because she had felt _spoiled_ when they were in bed together...it had felt so good during the sex that she ignored the knowledge that she'd feel alone, desperate and dirty after they'd be finished. She had ignored her best friend's advice and had accepted to feel bad the rest of the time as long as she got a few hours of this good feeling when she had been with him. _Pathetic_, she said to herself.

Astoria forced herself to get up. When she looked at herself in the mirror, she didn't see the girl she had always seen...the girl who was now looking back at her wasn't herself. The person in the mirror was a pathetic, naïve, desperate girl Astoria didn't want to have anything in common with; someone who she certainly didn't want to _be_. Not just her outer appearance had changed but also her attitudes and her eyes. Since she had married Draco, she had kind of become the obdenient Pureblood wife she had never wanted to be; also, her eyes had lost their shine. Her thoughts didn't ever stop, she couldn't sleep, she couldn't eat...her mind felt like it was in a constant carousel and she had got no chance to jump off...

Astoria winced when she heard a knock at the door. She brushed her hair back, took a deep breath and unlocked the bathroom door.

"What did you _do_ in there?", asked a woman Astoria didn't know.

"Sorry", murmured Astoria and went back into the big room where the party took place.

After she had sat down next to Amelia again, the two girls remained silent for a while.

"Are you in the dark place?", asked Amelia after a while.

"Yeah", replied Astoria.

"Me, too."

xxx

When Draco and Astoria came home at 3am, he dragged her into the living room with him.

Draco, who was sitting on their couch, pulled his wife hard down on his lap. Before Astoria could express her disapproval, he was kissing her hard and forceful. Astoria wrapped her arms instinctively around his neck and closed her eyes while he pushed his tongue against hers and grabbed her ass with both hands in order to pull her even closer to him. Now her breasts were pressed against his chest through the fabric, their kiss became even deeper and Astoria was able to feel his hard erection pressing up against her between her legs. Draco released a moan deep down in his throat when he felt her hot body against his erection and kissed her even harder. Astoria could feel his hands all over her body, ripping the zip of her dress apart before they threw the dress on the floor; then she felt his hands against the hot skin of her belly, her back...her breasts. Draco tried to unclasp her bra but he didn't succeed so he lifted her up in his arms instead and carried her into the bedroom where he threw her a little bit too hard down on the matress and climbed on top of her instantly after he had thrown his jacket onto the floor which was soon followed by his trousers while Astoria tried to open all the buttons of his shirt while he kissed her forcefully. Suddenly, Draco pulled them into a sitting position and unclasped her bra, this time without any problems, and she could feel his mouth on her skin; she moaned when his tongue flicked around her already hard nipples.

And when she felt his dick inside of her, when he pressed his hot body against hers, when he bit her neck and moaned into her ear, she felt spoiled again. She felt good, _he_ felt good, it felt right and perfect. And at that moment, when he moved inside of her and moaned dirty things into her ear, when she grabbed the sheets to relese the tense from her orgasm, it didn't matter to her that he was probably cheating on her; because in that moment, she was the most important woman in his life and for that moment, that was enough.

_I'm dying again_

_I'm going under (going under)_

_drowning in you_

_I'm falling forever_

_I've got to break through_

_I'm going under_


	15. Depression

**A/N: Big SORRY for the very late update, guys! I've been busy with school and personal crap plus I haven't really been inspired for a while. I hope that you haven't forgotten my story and that you'll like this chapter! :)**

**I've also updated the old chapters. I've put some of the short ones together and deleted some which hadn't really got a plot. So, you're free to re-read them hehe ;)**

**Chapter 15**

"Depression"

Astoria, who was actually busy scrubbing her body, looked up when the bathroom door was pushed open by her husband. "Hey", she said stunned, "I didn't expect you to be back that early."  
>She could see Draco's eyes being clouded by lust as he watched her naked and wet body through the fogged glass and the steam which filled the small room up. When he slammed the door shut, a slight grin flushed through his face.<p>

"What are you doing?", asked Astoria when he started to take his clothes off.  
>"Taking a hot shower", said Draco with the smug grin which made his wife melt instantly and pushed the fogged glass aside to step into the shower. When he pushed Astoria's body against the cold wall, he felt her naked, wet &amp; hot skin against his hands which, even if he would never show it, turned him on immensely. When their lips met, he could feel his wife moaning in pleasure as their kiss deepened. While their tongues were still flicking around each others, Astoria's hand slid down between their bodies to caress his already slightly hardened manhood.<br>His hands found her round breasts instantly and once more he discovered that, although she had got an A-cup, they were still big enough to fill each one of his hands which satisfied his expectation in a perfect female body. When Draco's hand went down between Astoria's legs, she broke the kiss, her eyes shut and she moaned out loud.  
>Draco leaned in closer and whispered with a husky voice into her ear: "Little bitch, already soaking wet...", while he slid two fingers inside of her entry.<br>"Who's the bitch here?", replied Astoria playfully, obviously referring to his very erected dick.  
>Draco looked at his wife and they both stopped the movement of their hands. His evil gaze sent a shiver through her body. He laughed when he felt her tensing up in fear.<p>

"Good to see that you still know who's the boss here", he said and touched her inner thigh which Astoria lifted willingly.  
>While the hot water was dropping down on their bodies, Draco positioned himself between her legs before he pushed his large manhood into his wife's waiting entry which caused her to moan and lean her head back against the wall. Astoria rested her arms on his shoulders while her right hand stroke his neck; Draco held her leg in position, even pushed it further away to be able to enter even deeper into her with each thrust, and played with her breasts and nipples. Their eyes locked and they watched each others constantly raising pleasure.<p>

Then Astoria felt that it was becoming too much - too much heat and fog, too many times Draco's penis hit her g-spot, too much shivers his touches gave her, too much tension between them; she exploded. The following wave of pleasure which floated through her whole body was too much to handle, she thought she'd pass out, her trembling knees would give in...but when her orgasm faded away, she found herself still standing in the hot shower, pressed against the wall. She also found her husband still slamming his cock respectless into her sore pussy and when his thumb drew circles on her already hurting and swollen clit, he sent her over the edge once more. She screamed out in pain and pleasure, this time seriously close to passing out; she was glad when she felt Draco's hot semen inside of her and when he pulled out.  
>He rested his arm against the wall right next to the spot where Astoria was standing and took a few deep breaths before he left the shower. He grabbed a towel and wrapped it around his hips.<br>Before he left, he turned around and said: "That was just the foreplay, baby. Meet me in the bedroom when you're done."

Astoria forced herself to smile and nod; after her husband had left the bathroom, she sank down to the bottom of the shower, pulled her knees close to her body and rested her head on them. This had been the best and the most intense sex she had had in a while, but she wasn't sure how much more her weak body could take...

xxx

When Draco woke up the next morning, he noticed that his arm was laying on the mattress, not on his wife like it was intended to. He got up quickly, put on some boxer shorts and entered the kitchen where he found his wife who was making coffee.

"Good morning", smiled Astoria when he came towards her. She was only wearing black panties and a gray tank-top.

Draco kissed her quickly. "You're up early", he stated.

Astoria smiled. "Yeah, that noise outside woke me up, didn't you hear it?"

Draco shook his head. "No. I need to take a shower."

"Yep", answered Astoria. "I already did. Do you want eggs and bacon for breakfast?"

"Yeah", answered Draco. "Where's that freakin' house elf?"

"At the Manor; I sent him there because I thought it'd be nice to have some time alone..you know, since Scorpius is spending the weekend at Amelia's."

Draco grinned and kissed Astoria intensely before he went towards their bathroom. When Astoria heard him locking the door, she relaxed.  
>During their recent talk, she had been focused on not letting him into her mind (which he luckily hadn't even tried) because the truth was that she had barely slept, at all. Since a while, she was so afraid of her nightmares that she stayed awake as long as possible. That was freaking hard because she was always tired, and lying in their comfortable bed and with Draco sleeping next to her, it was hard not to give in to the tiredness she constantly felt. Her thoughts kept her up though because they were chasing each other, twisting and turning around until she got a headache and even panic - sometimes she seriously thought that she had gone mad.<p>

Something was certainly wrong with her; but wasn't that normal, after everything that had happened to her?  
>A childhood which had been dominated by the fear of being punished by her father and the urge to break rules at school because she had hated the world so much that she hadn't been able to find another way to let out her frustration than hating everyone and leaning up against her superiors who weren't as powerful as her cruel father.<br>An arranged marriage, being forced to be a follower of the Dark Lord, an unexpected and unwanted pregnancy, the constant loss of control, her husband whom she dearly loved pushing her away and hurting her - both emotionally and physically - plus the fear of her baby being taken away.  
>The constant fear that her abusive but yet beloved husband could die while being "at work".<br>Being abandoned by her father whom she wanted to impress no matter what he had done to her and being ignored by her mother who was too afraid of her husband to ever defend her daughter plus being abandoned by her own sister.

Which human being would still be in their right mind after that?  
>Astoria sighted while she made the breakfast. Life sucked and she couldn't find a reason to hold on to it anymore...why did she even try to fulfill her fucking duties?<p>

Because of the few people who more or less loved her? For her baby which would be screwed up anyway?

She winced when she heard Draco unlocking the bathroom door and coming back into the kitchen. When he sat down at the table, she placed a plate with eggs and bacon along with a cup of coffee in front of him which he appreciated with a simple nod. Astoria poured herself a cup of coffee and took the place on the table on the opposite of her husband.

"Why don't you eat?, asked Draco after a while.

Astoria took a sip from her coffee. "Not hungry", she smiled then.

The truth was that her stomach constantly felt turned upside down and that the constant nausea she experienced made her sick of food. She had stopped eating enough food when Draco had started to lay hands on her because she had been too hurt to care about food. Then the nausea had started and meanwhile she barely ever felt the need to eat. Draco didn't seem to care; on the contrary, he seemed to enjoy her very flat belly...

xxx

In the evening, the couple went over to the Malfoy Manor because it was Narcissa's birthday. Astoria had gotten bored very soon because Amelia wasn't there (she was taking care of Scorpius) and Draco was with the guys...

Draco. He didn't seem to notice how miserable his wife actually was.  
>Last night, it had actually scared her that the amazing sex had been so exhausting because in the past, she had enjoyed sex. Well she still did, but now there was, among the pleasure, also the fear of passing out because her body was already too weak to handle Draco's rough attitude when it came to sex.<p>

Their most intimate moments were more fucking than making love which was actually exactly what Astoria loved...damn it, she thought. She was falling apart...

What scared her even more than the weakness of her body was the fact that she had mentally changed a lot. A few years ago, she had been the tough school girl who would always talk back against teachers, earn different detentions and who would have the strength not to attend them.  
>A school girl who would hate her fellow school mates except her best friend because she considered them as stupid and a school girl who fell in love with her lover whom she fucked regularly.<br>A teenager who would lean up against family traditions and stupid social hierarchies; a troublemaker with a strong attitude – so strong that her schoolmates wouldn't even dare to talk to her.  
>The girl about whom the whole Pureblood society loved to gossip and a girl who would be proud of that because it would surely make her parents feel ashamed which was a triumph that she had earned by causing trouble at stupid society events, such as smoking (which wasn't appropriate for a girl), wearing clothes which didn't fit to the event and so on.<p>

Now, she was the obedient Pureblood Wife of a fucking Death Eater whose family appeared to be rich and fucking perfect. She had given birth to his heir, she stayed at home all day and tried not to screw up her baby. She had become used to her husband's violence and didn't complain about it. In the past few months, she had also stopped talking back at her husband because she knew that it would lead to nothing but her having bruises all over her body the next day. She attended social events without complaining and without causing trouble. What the fuck had she become?

She had used to be the girl who was tough on the streets and submissive in the streets. But to gain control over her, a guy would have to gain her respect – which wasn't an easy task. Draco had fulfilled and extended her sexual fantasies in different ways and he still did which was one of the only positive things she could think about when it came to their marriage. Damn it, she had to get better immediately...she didn't want to lose herself in a depression. At the moment she was barely holding herself together by tape and glue...she had to make a change.

_Oh how I wish for soothing rain_

_All I wish is to dream again. _

_My loving heart, lost in the dark_

_For hope I'd give my everything._

**A/N: Reviews keep me motivated to write a new chapter soon...;) **


	16. Who do you think you are

**A/N: This chapter was rather complicated to write, took me some time (but I think you've already noticed that lol). I've had some ideas and wanted to try something new. Enjoy! :)**

**Chapter 16**

"Who do you think you are?"

Astoria let herself fall onto their big king-sized bed because she was sobbing so heavily that she couldn't hold herself on her feet anymore. She had just had a major fight with Draco - but this time he had not only left but also taken Scorpius with him.

She knew that he would come back; he had to. But she felt left alone, completely lonely in a world full of hatred and evil people. When she reached out to open the nightstand because she wanted to drug herself to sleep, her sight fell on the Dark Mark on her left forearm. Astoria's sobs increased. If one would describe her as "a girl who was losing it"...well, that would be a total underestimation. She was crying so heavily that it became harder and harder for her to breathe. The room was dark and empty but there didn't seem to be any oxygen to fill her aching lounges. Every breath made her cry harder until she was so exhausted that her head fell down to the pillow and her breaths became more calm. She wasn't even able to cry anymore; just a few desperate, silent cries and sobs filled the room.

When Astoria was able to bring herself to look for sleeping pills in the nightstand, she startled.

What if...?

What if she took all the different pills in there? It'd be so good to just fall asleep and probably never wake up again...

No, she thought. Those pills weren't enough. Even if she took them all it wouldn't kill her plus her life would become even more miserable than it already was...it was senseless.

xxx

_I think that nice guys are nauseating. I've always thought so and I may be a masochist, but it's what I feel. Back at Hogwarts, I've once dated that moron from Ravenclaw when I was in the fourth year and I broke up with him after a week or two because I've always wanted to vomit when he held doors open for me, told me that he loved me more than anything, gave flowers to me and told me he'd carry me all the way to my dormitory when I mentioned that I was tired. Some women may find that charming but, like I said, I literally find it nauseating. Maybe that's why I've ended up marrying the biggest asshole there is. _

"_From what I understand, it wasn't your choice to marry him."_

_Yeah. Yeah I know. But I've already been with him back at Hogwarts so, well, I kinda think that we were destined to happen. I don't know whether I believe in destiny because actually it's crap. But some things don't seem to be random, you know? Like, I hate nice guys and end up with an asshole. A total asshole! He's an aggressive, evil bastard who managed to make me fall in love with him. I don't know why but he seems to know exactly what a woman wants and he used that mad skills at me and now I'm screwed. I'm screwed! He made me love him, he made me join that organization, he made me addicted to him – in more than one way – and he made me give birth to his heir. I'm that kind of woman I've never wanted to become! I hate my life because it only consists of taking care of my child and waiting for my husband to come home. Am I really supposed to call that a life? _

_Since a few days, I've got a song stuck in my head. I hate to sing but you're my psychological healer, so..._

"_I don't judge."_

_It's like, Who do you think you are, running 'round leaving scars, collecting your jar of hearts and tearing love apart. You're gonna catch a cold from the ice inside your soul. So don't come back for me, who do you think you are..._

"_It's never just a song stuck in your head. It's more than that. You connect the song with something that's resting deep inside of you. Something that's eating you up from the inside. I think that you're trying to change your life, don't you?"_

_I would like to, but I can't. You know what happened last night? He asked me why the fuck I'm not getting pregnant. He said that I should have become pregnant years ago, considering the amount of sex we're having._

"_Why don't you get pregnant?"_

_Silence._

"_Everything we discuss stays in this room."_

_I'm taking the Birth Control Potion. Even Scorpius has been an accident because I don't want another child! Do you understand? I didn't even want the first one and I couldn't handle another baby! I'm so afraid that he'll find out but it's what I want. I know what my duties are and I'm so sick of them that sometimes I think it'd be really nice to fall asleep and don't wake up anymore. _

"_So you're having suicidal thoughts?"_

_...No. Not really. I mean, probably, but I wouldn't do it. _

"_Did you ever try?"_

Astoria was standing in the kitchen when she heard her husband slamming the front door shut. Bad day?, she thought when she saw him rushing through the hall – completely ignoring her.  
>After a few minutes, he yelled her name. Astoria sighted, took a deep breath and walked the short way over to the living room where she found Draco sitting at the couch and drinking expensive liquor.<p>

"What is it?", she asked and leaned against the door frame while she kept her arms crossed.

"Move your ass over here", hissed Draco.

Astoria raised an eyebrow. "Calm down first", she replied. "What happened?"  
>"I don't want to talk!", yelled Draco and slammed his empty glass so hard on the table that it broke. Shards flew everywhere and soon covered the table and the floor. "Either you come her instantly or I'll make you!"<p>

"Fuck yourself", hissed Astoria and walked quickly past the hallway and towards the front door; but she startled when she reached out for the doorknob.

Unbreakable Vow.

If she opened this door and made one step outside, she'd die instantly because the freaking Malfoy family had forced her into swearing that she wouldn't leave again. That she wouldn't run away, no matter what Draco said or did.

She raised her hand and rested it on the doorknob. Why was she staying? What kept her from going out there and escaping the pathetic pieces which were left from her life?

Astoria was so angry and hurt that she almost left the apartment and ended her life just to upset Draco. She wasn't as physically strong or emotionally cold as he was so he could hurt her easily. She just wanted to see that evil satisfaction vanish from his face when he realized that she had taken that one thing away from him that still meant something to him: herself.

_No. I've never tried to commit suicide._

xxx

Astoria was sitting in the kitchen when Draco finally came home the next evening. She continued to smoke her cigarette and didn't look up when he entered the room.

Draco didn't speak, either. He sat down at the table next to her and held his hand out until Astoria rolled her eyes, gave in and handed the cigarette to him. When he continued to smoke and didn't seem to give it back to her, Astoria reached for the package of cigarettes that lay on the table, but Draco grabbed her wrist instantly and stopped her from grabbing it. As soon as his hand made contact with her wrist, their eyes met. They were both fixating each other, Draco with a threatening and Astoria with an angry gaze, until she tore her arm away from him, got up and left to go to the bathroom.

When she arrived there, she carefully locked the door before she rested her hands on each side of the sink and took a few deep breaths. _No_, she thought then and looked up into the mirror which made her feel stronger._ Not this time._

Astoria's heart was beating fast when she entered the bedroom – but to her surprise, she found out that it was empty which released a little bit of the anxiety inside of her. She didn't need to change her clothes, because she hadn't really been out of bed all day and also hadn't changed, before she lay down at her side of the bed, turned her back to Draco's empty spot and closed her eyes.

It took only a few minutes for him to follow his wife into the bedroom. When Astoria heard him entering the room, the anxiety inside of her increased rapidly but she had still got her breath under control. She didn't move while she heard him changing his clothes at the opposite side of the bed.

Astoria let out a cry when she suddenly felt Draco's cold hand grabbing her arm and spinning her around so that she was laying on her back and his threatening figure was above her, holding her down, not giving her any chance of running away. The room was almost completely dark which made the whole situation even more threatening to Astoria. But still, none of them spoke. They both knew that whoever spoke first would lose the fight and the both of them were too stubborn to give in that easily.

_Ass_, Astoria thought. He was seriously trying to make her speak first by physically hurting her. What the fuck? Finally, she made one desperate try and tried to kick him into his balls with her knee but he was faster and like a second later, her legs were held down by his which she painfully noticed by the pain his weight was causing her.

"This is ridiculous. When are you planning on letting me go?", Astoria said finally.

"Now", hissed Draco, released her and lay down next to her, "that you've lost."

"I didn't -"

Draco laughed. "The hell you did."

"I hate you", hissed Astoria.

"You love me." Although she couldn't see his face in the darkness, she knew that he was grinning. She snorted in disapproval. Draco leaned over and kissed the most sensitive spot on her neck which made Astoria, although she desperately tried to fight it, moan. "I know you", he whispered against her neck which sent a shiver through her whole body. "You wish", replied Astoria and wanted to act cool but it didn't work out – Draco knew exactly what affected her and the way he easily had her lying beneath him in the next moment showed that he did know her. "I still hate you", said Astoria with a voice which sounded far weaker than she wanted it to. Draco raised an eyebrow and smirked. "Really." He crashed his lips down onto hers and when Astoria finally felt his tongue inside of her mouth flicking against hers, even the last bits and pieces of her coolness faded away and she let go. When Draco felt with which passion his wife responded to his kiss and when he felt her moans which were silenced by their fighting tongues, he suddenly pulled away. "If that's what you call hating me, babe..." "Shut up", hissed Astoria, wrapped one hand around his neck just underneath the line where his light blond hair ended and kissed him again. It was too late to try to fight him because he had already made her turned on, craving him, wanting him inside of her as soon as possible.

They skipped the foreplay because neither of them needed or wanted one; when they ripped each others clothes away, there was just the desire to come even closer to each other, to reach the release they both needed desperately. But when the clothes were gone and Draco pushed his cock without any warning forward, skipping the foreplay didn't appear to be such a good idea anymore - Astoria let out a cry because she had been wet, but not that ready to take Draco's immense size completely yet. Draco grinned and leaned forward which unintentionally pushed his cock even deeper into Astoria's tightness. "Relax..", he whispered into her ear and kissed her neck which made her moan and aching her body towards him. Then suddenly he got halfway up into a kneeling position and lifted one of Astoria's legs up until her ankle was resting on his shoulder. He gripped her other ankle with one hand to push the remaining leg further away before he started to move back and forth. This position and angle allowed him not only to spread her legs uncomfortably far apart which released her tightness but also to slam into her powerfully and respectless. Astoria's pain faded slowly away as the pleasure increased and then suddenly, the pain was gone and it was just her and Draco, nothing else mattered as they both went towards an earthshaking climax. She hadn't forgotten how mad she was at him but at that moment it just didn't matter.

"Draco...", she half breathed, half moaned.

He leaned forward until their faces were only inches away from each other without ever stopping his movement. "Come for me", he hissed with a voice which was beyond husky. "Show me how much you love me."

Although he had just infuriated her anger, it was too late for Astoria to stop; Draco chuckled when her eyes widened against her will and when she threw her head back and closed her eyes because everything seemed to be blurred while the orgasm made her whole body tremble and shake, he grabbed her neck hard and forced her to look at him while he climaxed, too. But he had got far more self-control than she had; only a hard breath escaped his mouth and he still fixated his wife. Astoria's waves of pleasure decreased when she felt his hot cum inside of her and that he stopped moving. He pulled out instantly, got up, put boxer shorts and trousers on and left the room.

Astoria was still lying in their bed just like he had left her. After she had catched her breath, she got up and intentionally wanted to go to the bathroom to clean the mess up her husband had left but as soon as her feet hit the ground, she noticed how shaky and trembling she still was; her legs gave in and she fell hard down to her knees and felt hot tears burning in her eyes when she realized that she wouldn't even make it into the bathroom. But the fear of Draco coming in and seeing her like this gave her the strength to search for clothes on the floor. She put her panties and Draco's pullover on and crawled exhausted back into the bed.

xxx

The next morning, Astoria was woken up by Draco who was pushing the pullover she was wearing upwards and grabbing her breasts underneath it. She exhaled slowly. "You know, I need to take a shower first", she whispered.

Draco groaned annoyed. "Couldn't you do that last night?", he almost yelled. "You could've assumed that we would fuck again in the morning! I expect you to know things like that, damn it!"

Astoria closed her eyes. Breathe, she thought. Just breathe. She wouldn't stand another fight...

"I'm sorry", she said and turned around slowly. She crawled on top of Draco and kissed him but he was too annoyed to kiss her back. Astoria smiled at him and went slowly down without ever breaking the eye-contact. Slowly, Draco's face lightened up into a smug grin when he realized what her intention was.

"Well, that will at least be a small apology", he said, still with the smug grin on his face.

His words made Astoria want to vomit but she pulled herself together and opened his trousers because sucking him off would be the smaller, more bearable and lesser evil compared to yelling at each other and probably having him hit her again. Her last bruises had just healed...at least the visible ones.

Meanwhile, she had learned that bruises and injuries on her skin would heal after a few days but she had also accepted that her inner bruises and scars would never heal.

**A/N: Please review! Takes a second, means a lot :)**


	17. Backup

**Chapter 17**

"Back-up"

Astoria was sitting at the kitchen pan and ate a green apple when her husband entered the room.

"Drop that", hissed Draco. "We're invited for dinner at my parent's house in two hours."

Astoria rolled her eyes. "Dinner? Again?"

"Yes, again", hissed Draco. "Better get ready."

Astoria hopped off the pan and raised an eyebrow. Then she shrugged. "Not in the mood", she replied, took another bit from the apple and headed towards the hallway but was held back by Draco who quickly caught her by the wrist.

"Do the fuck as I say", he hissed.

"Let me go", hissed Astoria. "You're hurting me."  
>"That's the intention", replied Draco and intensified his angry gaze. "I won't let you go until you tell me what the hell is wrong with you!"<p>

"Nothing!", replied Astoria annoyed. "I'm fine! When I was miserable I just didn't talk back at you to avoid fights because I've been too weak to handle them! But you, the freaking perfect husband, didn't even care that I was at the edge between life and death, that I was a fucking mess, and not only that, you also exploited my weakness!"

Draco laughed dryly. "Stop exaggerating, honey. You have not been miserable, how could you be?"

"Right", hissed Astoria, "because you do nothing but make me happy."

"Stop the sarcasm", hissed Draco.

"Stop pretending that you care about me."

Draco suppressed the impulse to beat the crap out of his wife and released her instead.

xxx

Astoria was still angry as fuck but she had made a plan while she had taken a shower: she would dress up sexy, tease Draco and then deny to sleep with him when they'd arrive at home. She wasn't sure whether her plan would actually work out but she talked herself into it until she wasn't insecure anymore.

When she was standing in front of the big mirror in their bedroom, Draco entered.

His gaze caught the tight-fitting gray dress his wife was wearing instantly because it outlined her figure perfectly. It was also pretty short which revealed the biggest part of her long, slim legs which ended in fatal, black high-heels. Her incredibly long hair fell straight down up until her belly and lower back.

Astoria turned her gaze off her reflection in the mirror when her husband entered the room. Suddenly, her plan didn't seem like such a good idea anymore because he was wearing a black suit which he looked stunningly hot. He wasn't wearing a tie and the two buttons at the very top of his shirt were left open.

"Let's go", hissed Draco cool.

Astoria brushed her hair out of her face one last time and picked Scorpius up who had been playing with a magical cauldron on their bed while she had gotten ready.

"Hey baby", she said in a cute voice and kissed him on the cheek. "We're going to visit your grandparents, how does that sound?"

Scorpius laughed and tried to grab Astoria's nose with his little hands.

"Little sweetie, aren't you?", chuckled Astoria and kissed his other cheek.

"Don't you dare pamper him", hissed Draco suddenly next to her.

Astoria rolled her eyes. "I'm still allowed to cuddle with my baby, aren't I?", she replied sarcastically and held Scorpius closer to her chest.

Draco gave her his most evil gaze, lifted Scorpius off her arms and made him walk on his own. Astoria let out a disapproving sigh and followed them out of the apartment where they Disapparated all together.

When they arrived at the big iron gate at the beginning of the Malfoy Grounds, Astoria could see the eyes of her baby being filled with fear – like every time. She quickly grabbed his hand to give him at least a slight feeling of warmth and comfort since she wasn't allowed to carry him in his arms. Admittedly, the dark grounds with the big, dark Manor were more than scary, even for her. The silence which was just interrupted by random noises of animals, which were either on the Malfoy grounds or somewhere at the streets, made the whole situation even scarier. After they had passed the gate without any problems, they walked quickly over to the Manor and passed the big wooden front door similarly. Because they were close family members and didn't need to ring a door bell or stuff, nobody had heard them coming and so they walked straight towards the Dining Hall where they found Narcissa and Lucius arguing about something but they quickly stopped when they recognized that they weren't alone anymore.  
>"There you are!", said Narcissa with a fake smile and hugged Draco tightly before she quickly cuddled with Scorpius and gave Astoria a warm hand-shake. Lucius' hand-shake was anything but warm plus his cold and piercing gaze scared Astoria; she was just glad that he didn't look at Scorpius that way...<p>

"Astoria", said Lucius Malfoy suddenly, "follow me. We need to discuss something."

Astoria startled. "I – umm, sure", she replied confused and looked at her husband for help but Draco intentionally didn't look at her. "I'll be right back", she whispered and kissed Scorpius on his forehead before she followed Lucius out of the room.

"Mummy!", she heard Scorpius crying but before she could turn around, the door of the Dining Hall slammed shut. It broke Astoria's heart but she knew that she wouldn't be allowed to go back and knowing that Narcissa was with her baby calmed her down to some extent.

Lucius Malfoy led her upstairs and into a room where Astoria had never been before; that might have been because there was no furniture in the room. It was lightened by torches at the walls which created an odd light and a scary atmosphere.

Astoria felt like being in an arranged scene when she faced her father in-law in the middle of this strange room. Although she was wearing fatal high heels, he was still taller than her and his big black cloak made him seem even bigger.

"I've heard", he started, "that your attitude has changed a lot."

"Ehh...", made Astoria confused.

"What happened?", asked Malfoy threatening.

"Nothing, I -"

"Answer me."

"Really, I -", stuttered Astoria.

"Crucio."

Astoria hadn't got time to prepare for what came next. The pain hit her instantly; her knees gave in and she fell hard down onto the floor, her whole body shaking from the intensity of the pain, and she screamed out in pain and surprise.

Downstairs, Scorpius looked up when he heard a desperate cry.

"It's okay", said Draco and brushed lightly through his son's hair although inwardly, he felt like a dagger had just stabbed him when he heard his wife's screams. Now that it happened, he felt compassion and something inside of him wanted to get up, run upstairs and save her from the upcoming hell...but he remained motionless and stared at the floor because he knew that his father would kill him if he interrupted the procedure.

When it finally stopped, Astoria found herself lying on the floor. Her breaths were slow and hurt because basically everything was hurting...

"So", she heard Malfoy's threatening voice above her, "what happened?"  
>"What do you want from me?", replied Astoria weakly. "What do you expect me to tell you?"<p>

"I'm expecting you to tell me what has changed you from being a good wife to being a revolting bitch!", yelled Lucius.

Astoria startled again. She was too weak to think about excuses...she couldn't tell him about the shrink thing, he would find him and invade his mind and find out every private detail about her which would pretty sure lead to her death...

"Crucio."

Short-time later, every cell in Astoria's body was aching and she sat on the floor, weakly leaning against a cold stone wall. Lucius had left her lying on the floor and when she had been able to crawl towards the wall, she had done so. Feeling the cool stones at her back gave her a feeling of protection even though that was nonsense.

She hadn't talked yet. She didn't even know why this screwy situation was happening...how the hell did Lucius Malfoy know that she had changed? Had Draco talked to him and asked him to _handle_ his wife's new attitude? What kind of a freaking coward was he?  
>She was so glad that she wasn't depressed and suicidal anymore and now they were holding it against her? <em>What the fuck... <em>

The door flew open and Lucius Malfoy came back. Astoria sighted.

"Are you going to talk now or do I need to remind you once more who's the head of the household?", he said in a calm, yet threatening voice while he walked towards his daughter in-law.

"Why don't you just read my mind?", replied Astoria. She had gained at least some strength again.

"Because that would be humane", said Lucius with an evil grin.

Astoria exhaled slowly. She hadn't really got a choice...he would go on until she would either loose her sanity or tell him the truth...

"Fine", she started, "I'm taking an anti-depressions-potion."

xxx

Although Astoria had thought that this had been enough of an odd incident for one day, she experienced another one when she came out of the bathroom where she had been sent to straighten her now fuzzy hair and to vanish the traces of the curse she had been forced to undergo for what felt like the past hour. When she entered the Dining Hall once more, the family was sitting at the table and invited her to sit with them. As soon as she sat down, the meal appeared and everyone acted like nothing had happened. Astoria was so shocked that she didn't touch her food for a while until Draco's eyes met hers. His gaze wasn't cool anymore but concerned; she just nodded slightly to show him that she was okay (or at least that she was able to act like she was okay). That didn't change her hatred for her husband though but she didn't want to start a fight in front of her parents in-law.

Even the conversation went normally and Narcissa asked many questions about Scorpius. Astoria couldn't believe that those people who obviously knew what had just happened just ignored the fact that Lucius Malfoy had just tortured her...

They left after the dinner. Astoria carried Scorpius in her arms this time and Draco didn't tell her off. When they arrived at their apartment, Astoria went straight to her baby's bedroom and put her tired son to sleep. After she had listened to his calm breaths for a while, she left the room and put a silencing charm on it – they would hear if he cried but he wouldn't hear them.

Astoria found Draco in the living room where he was staring out of the window. "What the fuck was this?", she demanded.

Draco turned around to face her and shrugged.

"How the hell could you let this happen to me?", yelled Astoria. "Didn't it cross your mind that you should've protected me from your insane father and his excellent torture skills?"

"He's the head of the household", replied Draco calmly.

"So what? You knew from the beginning, didn't you? It didn't cross your brilliant mind to warn me, did it? And – eh, _how_ the fuck had your father come to know that I have changed, huh? Did you run to him and whine about how I didn't obey anymore?"

"That's not how it went", replied Draco simply. "I've never told him to do this to you."

"But you also didn't stop him from doing it!", yelled Astoria. She couldn't believe how calmly her husband handled this outrageous incident...

"How was I supposed to?" Now he was yelling back at her. "You know exactly that he wouldn't have let me prevent it! Once he has got a screwed up idea, he goes for it!"

"He's your father! You're his freaking _heir_ and even if he wouldn't have listened to you, I'm sure that your mother would have!"

"She tried! She tried to talk him out of it but guess what, it didn't work out because nobody talks back at my father! He feels like he's the Dark Lord himself unless the real one is around!"

"None of that is my problem!", yelled Astoria. "You're my husband, you should have protected me. Hell, you should have discussed this shit with _me _instead of letting your father do the dirty work!"

"I would have _never_ used the curse on you!"

"Oh, and so you let your father do it because you don't have the balls to do it?"

"Fuck, no!", yelled Draco and slammed his fist into the wall. Astoria winced when she heard the punch and saw blood on his fist but she didn't back down.

"So what the hell happened then?", she demanded.

"Scorpius", replied Draco through clutched teeth.

"What about him?", asked Astoria confused and crossed her arms.

Draco leaned his hands against the wall, closed his eyes and shook his head. After he had cleared his mind from the pain the blooding hand was causing him, he spoke. "When my parents had him last weekend...they asked him questions. About you. How we both come along, how you behave..."  
>"What?", asked Astoria.<p>

"Yeah. I swear, I didn't tell them anything. They've got their information from our son."

"Who the fuck do they think they are?", yelled Astoria. "I don't ever want Scorpius to be with them again! I mean – what kind of insane idea is this, to interview a little kid?"

"It's one of their methods", replied Draco. "They know everything."

"Not if we protect Scorpius from them", hissed Astoria.

Draco laughed dryly. "They're his grandparents."

"So what? That doesn't mean that they've got my trust! Who knows what else they did to my baby!"

"Yeah but they won't let you keep Scorpius."

"Oh, so you intend to give him to them in the future? Although they question him to get information about me – about us?"

Draco raised his voice. "What choice do we have? Damn it Astoria, you've got to accept that not everything works out the way you want it to!"

"I don't expect that", replied Astoria angry. "I just want to protect our son but I seem to be the only one."  
>"No!", yelled Draco but then he lowered his voice. "To me he means at least as much as he does to you but I'm the only one here who accepts the reality!"<p>

"You won't even try to protect him, will you? You'll just go on the way it was, no matter whether it's good for anyone or not!"  
>"Because I fucking know that we've got no choice! You are going to make things way worse if you try to revolt against my parents! Why don't you go straight to <em>him<em> and complain?", scoffed Draco.

"I would", hissed Astoria.

He shook his head. "You _do_ need to learn a lot."

"Seriously? Because I freaking care?"

"Because you're too emotional!", replied Draco, desperately needing his wife to listen to him.

"Right", replied Astoria sarcastically. "I'm really sorry that I'm not as emotionally cold and politic as you are."

Draco took a deep breath to prevent himself from loosing control. "The point is", he said then, "that if you want to protect Scorpius, you need to adapt to things, whether you like it or not. The only way to be halfway safe is to follow orders."

Astoria snorted in disapproval, walked over to the table and grabbed a cigarette. After she had let herself fall onto the couch, she took a drag from the cig and looked up to her husband. "I hate being powerless", she whispered then.

"I know", replied Draco, sat down next to her and lightened a cigarette, as well.

"So, what now?", asked Astoria.

"We could either go to sleep..." Draco made a pause. "Or we could have hot make-up sex", he added with a smirk.

Astoria laughed. "Screw you", she hissed with a huge smile.


	18. Chapter 18

**_A/N: _**I know, it took me AGES to publish this. u know what? i've had surgery, i've got a boyfriend now, i've finished school...so i hope you'll forgive me & review this new SMUT chapter ;) xoxo

* * *

><p>"I'm gonna grab a drink", said Astoria to her husband and headed towards the bar.<p>

They were at Theodore Nott's engagement party. Amelia hadn't been invited because her husband Blaise and his old mate Theodore had had a bad fight a few weeks ago, so Astoria had been able to give her son to her best friend for the night - but right now she wished that she hadn't done it because she could've really used some company. She hated these Pureblood party's where everyone was acting nicely and politely although they were complete assholes and suck-ups. She sighted, grabbed a glass of Firewhiskey and, in addition, smoked a cigarette outside of the Manor.

When she came back, she froze in her movements – her husband was talking to Pansy Parkinson, his former fuck-mate, and not only that; it also looked as if they were flirting. But instead of backing down, Astoria decided not to let this bitch do anything. She quickly walked over, gently placed one hand at Draco's back, one on his shoulder, leaned up and whispered very silently and only for him audible in his ear: "I've been a very bad girl."

When he turned slightly around to look at her, she could see his eyes getting filled with lust and desire. She smirked – her plan seemed to work out.

Draco leaned in closer and whispered: "I'll make you scream, baby."

Astoria smiled up at him and slightly licked her lips while their eyes were locked until -

"Draco, you were saying?", said Pansy suddenly.

"I was saying that our conversation is finished", hissed Draco without even looking at her. The brunette hissed in disapproval and swaggered back into the crowd.

Astoria laid both of her hands against his torso while she leaned up and whispered: "Don't be gentle. I can handle anything."

"As if I've ever been gentle with you", replied Draco with his sexy smug grin. "I'll fuck you so hard you won't be able to walk for a week. You're gonna cry."

"I want you so badly", she half whispered, half moaned silently.

Their eyes locked again and only seconds later, Draco grabbed her wrist hard and stormed out of the room, dragging her with him, in front of the Manor where they Disapparated.

The door of their flat wasn't even closed completely yet when Draco slammed Astoria hard against the nearest wall with his entire body, leaving her no possibility to escape his rough kisses which suddenly stopped when he leaned forward to bite her neck hard. They were pressed up against each other so hard that she could feel his already hard member through the fabric pressing up against her inner thigh which inflamed her desire even more.

"Are you going to be a good little slut?", Draco murmured against her neck.

"I always am", replied Astoria playfully and leaned up to kiss him again while she desperately tried to open all the buttons at his shirt. He grabbed her ass hard and dragged them into the nearest room, the kitchen, where he spun her round and made her bend over the kitchen table with her legs spread and her ass right in front of him. They didn't even undress properly. Draco just pushed her dress upwards which reveled his wife's perfect ass and Astoria felt like an electric shock went through her whole body, especially her lower regions, when her husband brought his hand hardly down on it. "I'll destroy you", he hissed and sucked her neck which made Astoria moan while he opened his zipper before he shoved her panties aside and brushed the tip of his rock-hard manhood against her clit.

"You're so wet", he hissed and pushed his cock into her pussy. Astoria moaned out loudly when she finally felt his whole size filling her up. Draco didn't waste time and pretty soon his balls were slamming against her clit with each thrust, the table was shaking heavily, he pulled her hair and forced her head back every time her upper body got too close to the table plate. Astoria couldn't stop the moans and cries which escaped her mouth while Draco fucked her – _fucked_ her. This was not even in any kind close to making love. Astoria's hip felt like it'd break under Draco's hard grip with which he held her in place while he slammed his cock respectlessly in and out of her, not caring about her desperate cries which were not only from pleasure but also from exhaustion and pain; on the contrary, the seemed to incite his rhythmic, yet aggressive and very fast actions. Although it was rough and hard to no extend, Astoria loved it and she was getting so close...but then he suddenly pulled out.

She turned around with the disapproval obviously written in her face which made him laugh. "I don't think you want it bad enough." And before she could reply, he added: "Suck it" while laying his hand on top of her head and pressing down.

Astoria instantly dropped to her knees and started sucking him by licking over the top of his cock. When she took him into her mouth, she could taste herself on it which reminded her of how dripping wet she still was while he left her craving him...

Suddenly and totally unexpected, she felt his hard-on in her mouth pulsating, Draco grabbing her hair hard whilst pushing himself even deeper into her mouth; he growled "swallow", ignoring that she was choking, and then his hot semen ran down her throat. Astoria was totally confused and frustrated when he let go of her hair and watched her swallow his cum. "What was that?", she demanded angrily when she was able to breathe again, got up from her knees and leaned against the kitchen table. He could _not_ make her hot and then just cum, especially not since she knew his excellent skills when it came to long fucks and him holding his orgasm back for an eternity...

Draco laughed devilishly. "You belong to me", he hissed against her neck. "You've been a bad girl and your pleasure is in my hands..."

His words turned Astoria on so immensely that she didn't snap back but kissed him passionately instead. He dragged them into the bedroom, pushed his wife back and was on top of her instantly. She wrapped her legs around his hip, her moans were suffocated in her throat because they were kissing so hard that not a single sound escaped her mouth, they touched each others body wherever they could, Astoria was sure that their making out would pretty soon lead to sex, until -

She heard the clicking of metal and before she realized what was happening, Draco had tied her hands above her head to the upper side of the bed.

"Handcuffs?", she half pouted, half laughed.

"Handcuffs.", replied Draco. His face was just above hers but no matter how much she struggled, she could not reach his mouth and intervene him into a hot kiss. Although she was sexually frustrated to no end, Astoria got even more turned on by the fact that she was tied up, unable to do anything, and that he had got the compete control over her. It was his choice when and how she came, his choice how much longer he'd let her suffer...she could almost feel the juices dripping down her legs.

Draco slowly took her dress, then her underwear off. "You're soaking", he hissed and breathed against her pussy which made Astoria shiver.

"Please", she breathed and looked straight into his eyes.

Her husband laughed and, all of the sudden, left the room. That was when she noticed that he was still completely dressed except for his open zipper. "Draco!", Astoria yelled desperately. When he came back, he was holding a cup in his hand.

"What the fuck?", exclaimed Astoria frustrated.

"Shut up", hissed Draco and took an ice cube out of the cup before he came into the bed. Astoria winced and her back arched when the ice made contact with her skin. Draco drew circles around her breasts with the piece of ice before he brought it to her already hard nipples. Then he let it slide slowly down her stomach until it completely melted before he grabbed another one which he playfully lead over her inner thighs. He had been totally gentle and teasing but then, suddenly, he pushed the complete ice cube in Astoria's wet hole. She screamed out – this was not what she wanted to have inside of her but yet still, it felt fucking good. Draco watched the melted liquids drip out and down; that was when he felt his dick hardening rapidly. He came back on top of Astoria until their faces were only inches away from each other and slipped two fingers inside of her. Draco grinned when she threw her head back, bit her lip and moaned.

"That's my little slut", he whispered in a husky voice, pounded his fingers more intensely in and out and kissed her neck until he was pretty sure that he would leave a love bite.

Astoria had already been totally turned on and was now more than ready to finally have an earth-shattering orgasm. She closed her eyes in anticipation while she got closer and closer...

"You've been a bad girl, haven't you?", asked Draco above her.  
>"Very bad", nodded Astoria, opened her eyes and kissed him intensely.<p>

"Well, then...", grinned Draco and removed his fingers.

"Screw you!", yelled Astoria, frustrated to no extend.

"I'll make you cum as soon as I know that you want it bad enough", teased Draco.

"Fuck me", said Astoria demanding.

"I want you to beg for it", whispered Draco and kissed her neck which he knew made her extremely weak.

"Please", moaned Astoria. "Fuck me. I need you inside of me, I need you to fuck me...please."

Draco smirked, removed the handcuffs and kissed his wife roughly; the anticipation was getting too much, even for him. Astoria's hands were all over him as soon as she was free again, removing his clothes quickly. When he brushed the tip of his cock against her soaking pussy, she raked her nails playfully over his sexy torso before he made the first thrust.

"Oh fuck", she moaned. "You're so huge, you feel so good..."

It didn't take long and not many strokes until Astoria moaned "I'm so close...don't stop...please don't stop..."

Draco smirked above her and touched her overly sensitive clit which brought her over the edge. "Fuck!", moaned Astoria, "Draco..fuck!" Her eyes rolled back in her head, she threw her head back, bit her lip and her nails scratched his back a little bit too hard.

It was only when the waves of pleasure stopped when she realized that he was still pounding roughly in and out of her. "Stop", she whispered; the pleasure was getting too much for her, she felt as if she couldn't handle it anymore...

"You don't want me to stop, baby", murmured Draco and kissed her neck to make her arch her back towards him.

Astoria's lip was bleeding because she had been biting too hard down on it but when she felt another orgasm coming up, she felt her body tensing up even more. "Oh fuck", she whispered and closed her eyes.

"Look at me", hissed Draco and increased his speed.

His wife's eyes flew open and when he looked into them, he could see nothing but longing and lust inside of them. He leaned down to kiss her roughly and while their tongues were still intervened, she climaxed again. This time, Draco let go when he felt her walls tightening around his dick and soon his semen was filling her up.

He pulled out and let himself fall into the pillows beside Astoria. For a while, the both of them just lay in the dark trying to catch their breaths, still in the aftermath of earth-shattering orgasms.

"Thank you", whispered Astoria when she was able to speak again.

Draco smirked. "Always a pleasure, baby."

As they lay silently in the dark and he wasn't sure whether she was sleeping yet or not, his thoughts circled around the arranged, marriage. He inwardly laughed about the thought that he had leaned up that much against his parents...

_Draco was 19 years old, had finished Hogwarts one year ago and was meanwhile in the Dark Lord's inner circle. When he was called downstairs, he dropped his newspapers, sighted and met his parents at the Study. When his father started a lecture about traditions and duties, Draco pretended to listen but didn't. In his mind, he already made plans for the night...he could go out with his mates and hook up with a woman or two...until his father mentioned the bad word: marriage. Draco's eyes flew open in a __shock, his mind was suddenly cleared from every other thought; he felt panic rushing through his veins. His first impulse was to run away to prevent his freedom which was why he suddenly got up from his chair and stood in front of his father without really wanting to.  
>He winced when he felt a hand on his shoulder - his mother's. "Calm down", she said. "It's not as bad as it sounds, you do get a choice."<br>By laying her hand on his shoulder Narcissa had made him recognize how angry and infuriated his action must have seemed. He definitely was angry as fuck but yet still...he wouldn't stand up against his father on purpose...  
>"Fine", he hissed finally. "I choose not to get married."<br>"You don't get a say in this", snapped Lucius. _

_Before he was able to continue, Narcissa interfered. "We've picked two suitable young women and you get to choose between them."  
>Draco rolled his eyes. "Great."<br>"Watch it", hissed Lucius. "It's either Pansy Parkinson -"  
>Draco interrupted him. "Never!", he exclaimed. "I'd rather loose my wand than marry that little brat!"<br>His father ignored him. "- or Astoria Greengrass."  
>Before they were able to continue their fight, Narcissa interfered once more. "You can tell us your choice tomorrow", she said with a calm voice.<br>"Certainly", spat Draco and stormed out of the Study._

**Reviews may motivate me to publish another chapter soon, u know? ;) **


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